All sorts of nasty rumors are swirling around this presidential election season. In the interests of an informed public, I wish to refute some of the more lurid ones.
The following statements are not true. Honest.
*John Boehner is a eunuch.
*The Obama Phone lady from Cleveland will moderate the next presidential debate.
*In the wake of Hillary Clinton’s performance as Secretary of State, she will resign and be replaced by Perez Hilton.
*”E Pluribus Unum” will be removed from our currency and replaced by a new national motto: “The government is the only thing we all belong to.”
*”In God We Trust” will be replaced by “You Didn’t Build That.”
*If Madonna keeps her promise to take off all her clothes in public if Obama is re-elected, she will be the next person appointed to the Supreme Court.
*By executive order, all churches must be covered with canvas so that atheists don’t have to see them.
*To convince the Muslim world of our good will, the president will deliver the State of the Union address in Arabic.
I repeat: none of these is true. Our wonderful and glorious leaders would never even think of doing any of these things.
You have their word on it.
None of our leaders would…. DON’T BE TOO SURE!
Sound too fantastic? After the Biden circus? You kidding me? These
are lame.
Now, now… Just because the second-highest elected official in the country makes faces, rude noises, interrupts, and acts like a monkey during a nationally-televised debate doesn’t make it a circus. After all, the clowns in the circus do it on purpose, for a living.
True, and they are much more refined in their acts than this jerk.
I did a lot of debating in high school. Anyone who acted like Biden–making faces, interrupting, waving his arms, etc.–would have gotten a big fat F.