The President’s Fake Groupies

So The Daily Mail–how come we can only get news like this from British media?–has reported that more than half of “President” Barack Obama’s loyal Twitter followers are… well, fake. ( )

“More than 19.5 million of his 36.0 million Twitter followers are accounts that don’t correspond to real people,” reports the Mail. “Of the president’s 36.9 million Twitter followers, an astonishing 53 percent… are fake accounts… Just 20 percent of Obama’s Twitter buddies are real people who are active users.”

Sounds like it accurately reflects the actual makeup of the man’s voting base. Maybe just 20 percent of his votes came from real people who were, in fact, eligible to vote.

White House spokesman Fidel Castro Fruitcake, however, proposed a different explanation:

“What’s the big deal? Fifty-three percent of the people in America are not real people, anyway. Where does it say you have to be real, to vote and get food stamps in this country? It just goes to show there’s a fake-ist bias in America, a hate aimed at fake people.”

He declined to comment on rumors that the president’s next nominee for the Supreme Court will be a person who does not actually exist.

He has a point, though. I don’t know about you, but I’m not so sure Obama himself is real.


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