Do Centaurs Speak Esperanto?

The scientific world is all agog over claims that a centaur has finally been taught to speak a human language.

Aided by grants from Columbia University and the U.S. Dept. of Education, a captive centaur named “Mr. Bill” has become fluent in Esperanto, the artificial language intended for international use.Prior to his instruction, says the project director, Mr. Bill could only speak the centaurs’ language–“an ugly combination of neighing, snorting, and reality-show cliches.”

In a mere six weeks, and at a cost of only $16 billion, Mr. Bill was able to read an Esperanto translation of Dr. Seuss’ Hop on Pop.

Mr. Bill is being held at a secure facility operated by the federal government’s Division of Stupid Wastes of Money. It is said he has made friends with a goat-footed Faun named Charley–who, although efforts have failed, so far, to teach him any human language, has learned to whistle Pop Goes the Weasel.

When Charley and Mr. Bill converse, they don’t speak Esperanto, Centaurese, or Faunish. The Division plans to spend another $8 billion to find out what language the faun and the center speak to one another.

Most of the Division’s money has already been earmarked for an expedition to Hawaii to find and capture a Giant.

5 comments on “Do Centaurs Speak Esperanto?

  1. This is more serious than you might think. Twice in the last twenty years, the press/media was reporting on a talking elephant in Russia, and even broadcast some “speech” sounds. I actually heard them myself.

    Unfortunatlely, I was left in the cold, because I just had not learned the elephant’s lingo.

    There has to be a reason for this. Maybe our masters are measuring how gull— ible is the population as time goes by, and they then adjust the agit prop machine appropriately.. Dave

  2. Hate to be the dissenting voice here, Lee, but from the wide-angle view, this is probably one of the better uses of $16,000,000,000 in recent memory. I’m not saying it’s a wise use of such an enormous sum, it is clearly not, but compared to much of what happens, this is not so bad.

  3. The problem is that these demonic ghouls who work in ‘research labs’ are cloning every species they can, while at the same time trying to ‘create’ chimeras. God didn’t like it in Noah’s day, and I’m pretty sure He won’t like it now. Interesting days are upon us.

  4. O Lee, such a fertile imagination – I wonder how you come up with these thoughts. Trump is currently working on bringing down the price of prescription drugs (among a host of other good things). FYI: Hebrews 1:1 tell us we have been in the “last days” since Jesus rose from the dead and ascended into heaven.

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