Global Warming Strikes Again

As you can see, I’m running very late today: had to shovel several tons of Global Warming off my car. Yes, I know–all the cold and snow is caused by all the warming. That’s why I heat my soup in the freezer. Global Warming also causes Homophobia, Transphobia, Income Inequality, Ableism, and a bunch of other stuff.

But not to worry, the government will take care of all of that. As long as we give them undreamed-of powers over every aspect of our lives and sign away the last vestiges of our liberties. Oh, and also submit to Global Government.

I must say those couple of months of riding my bike every day, they’ve paid off. I have much better wind than I had before I got the bike. Eat your heart out, Planet Fitness.

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