Category Archives: nature

Don’t Try This at Home!

Jambo, everybody, Mr. Nature here–with something that you should absolutely positively never try to do.

The guy in this video got away with it. But if his feet had slipped on the wet grass…

Mother alligators and crocodiles guard their nests, and some continue to guard the babies after they’ve hatched, going so far as to transfer them to a nursery pond where it’s easier to keep an eye on them. Gators do not take kindly to anyone messing with their babies.

Most reptiles don’t bother, but alligators do. It’s such a departure from standard reptilian behavior, one is tempted to conclude that gators and crocs aren’t really reptiles at all, but rather are in a class by themselves.

Anyway, gator nests and nursery ponds are good places to avoid–at all times.

Mr. Nature: The Walking Worm

It’s not a worm, it’s not an insect–in fact, scientists still don’t know what it is for sure.

Presenting the Peripatus, aka the Velvet Worm, aka the Walking Worm. There are many species living throughout the Southern Hemisphere and around the Equator. They’re small, they come out mostly at night, and they creep around the leaf litter–so they aren’t often seen.

Jambo! This is Mr. Nature, with more of God’s stuff. We have plenty of fossils of various walking worms, and those look just like the worms we have today. They’ve had all that time–half a billion years! say the Darwinists–to evolve into Gender Studies professors, and look at ’em: they’re still walking worms.

Well, heck–they’re good at being walking worms, they’ve got it down to a science. Some species lay eggs, some bear live young. They all eat small insects, spraying a sticky good onto their prey to immobilize it. They are as God created them. They have no power to harm us in any way, and they look cool. Fascinating little creatures.

A Cozy Baby Sloth

See the source image

We really must get going if we want to be in time for Christmas dinner; but my wife would never forgive me if I postponed putting up this picture of a baby sloth, and then couldn’t find it again. So here it is now. Patty’s crazy about baby sloths.

Did you know they were quite so little? No bigger than the average teddy bear.

Oooooh, fap! Getting late! Merry Christmas, and see you all later.

‘Jandra’s Nasty Toothed Bird’ (2016)

See the source image

If you’ve read much of my Bell Mountain series, you’ll know that Jandra is the toddler prophetess through whom God spoke to make Ryons a king. And you’ll know that, wherever she goes, she has a hissing toothed bird that follows her around.

Many readers wished to see that bird. The enclosed video was about the closest thing I could find to it. (And look at this! Mr. Genius has just erased the video accidentally, as he was trying to post it. Well, let me see if I can get it back… Got it!)

Feel free to completely ignore the evolution fairy tale that comes with the video.

The Congo Dinosaur

What are the crown jewels of cryptozoology?

Gotta be the Loch Ness Monster, Bigfoot, and this, the dinosaur rumored to inhabit the swamps of the Congo–Mokele Mbembe.

By all accounts, Mokele Mbembe resembles a scaled-down (to elephant size) brontosaur living in some of the most difficult and inhospitable terrain in the world. It’s all swamps, even the pygmies don’t like to venture too far in. But the people who do live there declare that Mokele Mbembe is real.

So far, none of the expeditions sent to those swamps has come back with proof of Mokele Mbembe’s existence. The best we’ve got is this grainy, wobbly little bit of film, displayed above. Of course, if they ever did succeed in obtaining proof, Mokele Mbembe would instantly cease to be cryptozoology and be regular zoology instead. This is what gives cryptozoology its slightly cracked but also slightly noble flavor.

What if, somewhere in the world, there is a living dinosaur? What hath God wrought! What if dinosaurs have only gone almost extinct? ‘Cause “almost extinct” means “a little bit extant.” I mean, heck, the stories don’t go away, there are always stories: always people saying that they’ve seen a dinosaur.

And who wouldn’t want to see one?

Not Really So Slow, Is He?

Jambo, everybody! Mr. Nature here.

The Komodo dragon, the world’s largest living lizard, often looks to us like he’d be slow and clumsy. That’s because they’re often filmed right after they eat; and when they eat, they gorge themselves and waddle around all bloated.

But here in a park–yes, it’s a park, not a wilderness: you can see the nice bike lanes–a Komodo dragon decides he’d like a haunch of venison. As he approaches, in plain sight, the deer decide it’s time to move out. And they decide just in time–he almost catches one! And then gives chase.

He can’t catch up to a deer running flat-out, but he’s still going pretty fast.

If you’re thinking of visiting Komodo Island, where these lizards are the apex predators, be very, very sure that you can outrun this critter. Each year they do manage to catch and eat a tourist or two.

(Sheesh, it’s a freakin’ park! Imagine that coming at you in Roosevelt Park. I’m gonna have nightmares…)

Mr. Nature: The Last Cricket

It’s almost Thanksgiving, we’ve already had some bitter cold weather, with a few snow flurries–and the other night, outside, Patty heard the last cricket of the summer chirping away. Calling to whom, we can’t imagine.

Jambo, Mr. Nature here–and the first time I tried to get this video on youtube, I just got all this Indian and Pakistani cricket news. No, no–not that cricket!

I love to listen to the crickets. I used to buy them as food for my turtle, but had to give that up real fast because I got kind of attached to the crickets. What did they ask of me? Water, wheat germ, a little place to hide. It was something to come downstairs on New Years morning to the sound of crickets merrily chirping away, and all that snow and ice outside.

A healthy cricket can live for a year or so, but not outdoors. Unless they can get inside a house, they won’t make it through the winter.

And I’m here to tell you they’ll go right on laying eggs until the end. No fear of running out of crickets!

Mr. Nature: Mosasaurus

The Komodo dragon of Indonesia is, as Bob and Ray observed, the world’s largest living lizard. Full-grown at ten feet long and 300 pounds, occasionally it eats… people.

Some thousands of years ago, certain monitor lizards in Australia grew to be twice the size of a Komodo dragon. But they were pipsqueaks compared to the Mosasaurus of the Cretaceous Period (or whenever–we don’t want to take such things too seriously).

As you can see in this clip from Jurassic World, the Mosasaur was very, very big–up to thirty or even forty feet long, depending on the species. Mosasaurs are all the rage in dinosaur movies today, and of course their size is exaggerated therein. Closely related to today’s monitor lizards, the Mosasaur was likely the supreme predator of its time. Instead of legs it had flippers, so it had to stay in the water. And no, it was not as big as a New Jersey township.

What hath God wrought? We can only marvel at the scanty remains of these gigantic creatures that are no longer with us. Where they are now, only the God who made them knows. But maybe someday He will tell us.

Town ‘Terrorized’… by Turkeys?

turkeys 3

Did I read that right–the town of Tom River, NJ (where my sister lives), is being “terrorized” by… wild turkeys? (

It could be a 1950s horror movie: Attack of the Wild Turkeys. “See the turkeys take revenge for all those Thanksgiving dinners! See it if you dare!” See them–according to nooze reports–pecking roofs, breaking windows on cars, and “attacking residents.” A former major league baseball player went so far as to tweet the governor, pleading for the state to rescue the beleaguered township: “They trashed my yard!” he laments.

It’s supposedly a “gang”–do turkeys have gangs?–of 40 to 60 birds. Their favorite target, we are told, is the 55-and-over community called Holiday City. Do the turkeys know it’s called that? No wonder they’re on the warpath.

Having lived in the suburbs all my life, I don’t know much about wild turkeys. I do know you can’t shoot them in New Jersey. Not that it would be a good idea for a lot of residents to cut loose with the lead. The houses are way too close together for that.

Some of you who grew up in the country, what do you say? Are turkeys dangerous to humans? Has anyone ever been killed and eaten by turkeys? Did the turkeys want succotash and cranberry sauce with that?

Well, the earth is the Lord’s (Ps. 24), not ours: we just live on it. A few years ago, one day, we had some wild turkeys in our neighborhood. They strolled across the street to St. Francis Cathedral and stood around by the Christmas creche. They looked like they belonged there.

Can we say the same?

‘A Rat as Big as a Car’ (2014)

We think of rodents as little creatures. But what if you could see a rodent ten feet long, five feet high, and as heavy as a pair of polar bears?

Actually it looks like a capybara, the largest rodent still around today.

See the source image

Josephoartigasia supposedly died out two million years ago, before anyone was around to set out giant mousetraps. All we can say for sure is that we aren’t able to find it anywhere today.

Imagine the size of the exercise wheel you’d need to buy.

%d bloggers like this: