This Mummy… It’s Alive! (Hysterical Screaming)

Well, maybe this is how it happens…

The Internet is great for getting all your questions answered–and I do mean “all.”

Like, for instance, this one: “How do mummies come back to life?” (

The answer site concludes that mummies, in fact, do not come back to life. Well I never!

When the Egyptians made a mummy, they soaked the body in brine for a long time, then pulled the brains out through the nose with a hook. So right there you’ve got a major problem for any mummy coming back to life and wanting to do anything more demanding than sitting in a collidge classroom learning Gender Studies. They removed the rest of the internal organs, too–another difficulty.

See, the thing is, after they did all this stuff to it, they were pretty sure the body was dead. That’s why they put it in a tomb.

We must wonder who is asking such a question, “How do mummies come back to life?” What does that tell us about our education system? Okay, not everybody knows how a mummy is prepared. But they do know–don’t they?–that any mummy dug out of the sands of Egypt has been there for a long, long time.

But I am making assumptions.

2 comments on “This Mummy… It’s Alive! (Hysterical Screaming)

  1. Who would’ve guessed the mummy could read, thereby initiating his own magic spell 🙂

    Those old horror films and their stars can’t be duplicated today – Lon Cheney, Boris Karloff, Vincent Price – now those were horror stars!

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