The world of archaeology is buzzing with a new theory advanced by Dr. Ringly Fungo, professor of Gender Studies at Hooza University. Who was the great Sphinx? Scholars have puzzled over this for centuries.
Now Dr. Fungo has the answer.
“It’s some guy with a lion’s body!” he declares. “It’s not some lion with a human head. Those were very, very rare!”
But who was it? A pharaoh? A prince? A high priest of Amun-Ra?
“For that information, we have to turn to Superhero Studies,” Dr. Fungo says. “That narrows it down considerable-like. The ancient Egyptians, who were all racists, concealed the statue’s identity. They also gave their superheroes silly names. But it’s either The Mighty Thor–who, it turns out, was a woman–or a superhero from Atlantis named Brandon.”
How did he come to that conclusion?
“You are triggering me with that question!” he replies. “I no longer feel welcome here! I no longer feel affirmed. Don’t even think of following me into my safe space!”
Unless my crystal ball has stopped working, we’re soon going to hear a lot of talk about “free college education for all.” What a fabulous idea! But Fimbo College is two years ahead of the curve.
This higher education is practically a guaranteed ticket to a lifetime’s unemployment! And all in return for just a thousand cereal boxtops! That and an official college degree in Gender Studies–what more could you possibly ask?
There’s too much defeatism out there. Too many Christians carrying on like the battle’s lost already, bad guys win, nothing we can do about it, etc. Like they forgot the nooze media never tells the truth and purposely tries to demoralize us so Democrats will win… and maybe they’re starting to believe the lies, half-truths, exaggerations, and minimizations that we’re all bombarded with all day, every day.
Are we not servants of the living God, Jehovah, who made the heavens and the earth? Is our faithfulness dependent on our worldly success?
“But what do we have to fight with? They’ve got the media, they’ve got the schools, they’ve got Hollywood, they’ve got wealth and power and are unrestrained by any moral considerations–”
We have resources, though.
*Our brains–surely we are equal to the task of coming up with difficulties that will confuse and exasperate the enemy, even as he confuses and exasperates us. They’re supposed to be The Smartest People In The World–and look at them. If we can’t outsmart a mob of useful idiots with degrees in Gender Studies, we deserve to be conquered.
*The truth–we have the truth and they don’t. We should lose no opportunity to proclaim it. Yes, they’ve paralyzed the world with some shallowly convincing lies–think “man-made climate change” and “systemic racism”–and they have the pulpits and megaphones with which to preach them every day. But if they were so sure of their hold on everybody’s minds, would they still be fighting so hard to establish it? Put truth up against their lies and see who wins.
*We have recourse to prayer, and they don’t. What–are they going to get on their knees and pray “O God, help us to promote abortion?” Or any other one of a myriad of evils they embrace. God hears the prayers of His people, but the prayers of the wicked are an abomination to Him.
Here is where we are tested, here and now, where the rubber meets the road. Are we servants of God, or just hangers-on? Do we trust in God or don’t we?
These are the days of Elijah.
Pray harder, sing louder, and proclaim the truth. Christ already has the victory, and we are His people. Ooh-rah!
What are we supposed to do with a couple million numbskulls with degrees in Gender Studies and Intersectional Political Ecology of Superheroes? And Democrats want to make more of them–lots more.
There is no room for doubt: their goal is to wreck the country.
It seems that sometime after Election Day 2016, a lot of adult black women mysteriously became obese. Now, thanks to a professor of gender studies at Rutgers Looniversity, we know what made that happen.
The fact that many of them were overweight years before anyone even thought of Trump as a political figure can be explained by a form of unconscious clairvoyance. Subconsciously anticipating that Donald Trump would become president, years and years ahead, their bodies began to adapt to the inevitable “racial stress for people of color” by packing on the pounds.
I went to that stupid university. Wait’ll the next time Rutgers phones to ask for an alumni contribution from me.
It would be unkind to quote directly from this, er, professor’s babblings, or to give her name. Suffice it to say that it is unconscionable for the taxpayers of New Jersey to have to pay this whining gasbag’s salary.
“Higher education”–it’ll kill us if we don’t defund it.
Let’s face it, fossil fuels are like totally destroying The Planet and the world’s gonna end in ten years if we don’t stop using them.
But not to worry–now you can have your own nuclear power plant! It’ll generate all the electricity you’ll ever need, and won’t take up any more space in your back yard than that storage shed where you keep the naughty pictures.
The Great Leap Forward to Personal Nuclear Power, by Dr. Eugene Foopus, Professor of Gender Studies at Yail University, is an easy little 28-page booklet that tells you how to build and operate a nuclear reactor. Don’t worry about getting bogged down in hard-to-understand technical language! Hand-drawn diagrams do a more than adequate job of explaining it, and Dr. Foopus is very careful not to use words you might not understand.
As for fueling your reactor with costly uranium–well, by the time you get the thing built, says Dr. Foopus, there will be a new Democrat president and uranium will once more be for sale by the State Dept. Make sure you’re first in line!
Available from the Social Justice Press for $2,499.99.
Collidge is jist So grate, this hear Is “the” plaice for Grate Idears!
Yeasterday we hadded “a” Stodent Soviet meting and we de-sided to has New Eye Contack Ragulasions!!! See, If yiu “dose” too mutch Eye Contack, “it is” Sexural Harasssmint! Butt iff yiu dont do no Eye Contack “at” alll, then that it is “a” Microa Grecian!!! And ether whay yiu whind Up in Censativvitty Traning!!! Unlest yiu are in the Stodent Soviet,, than yiu “are” Exumpted!!!
Butt we has got Somthing evven beter then That!!! Our Cheef Comasar she is Goingto Run four Pressadint!!!!! She is been In Collidge sinst 1991 so she is reely Smart!!!!! Neckst yeer she whil probbly get her Batchler’s Deegree in Wimmins Introspectionul Ginder Studdies! So she whil be reddy to Be Pressadint,, she evin Looks like Hillery!
Jist nhow She belangs to the Socilist Workers Peeples Jutstus Vegan Party butt she whil seak the nombinacion fromb the Demmocrats thare isnt no diffrints anymoar and aslo now the rest “of” us we al got To “join” i hoap i can fined some Munny becose yiu “has” to pay Dooze!!
Wel we pased themb Eye Contack ragulacions the voat “it was” Unaminase Exept for this one stupid “doap” he voated Aginst It so we hadded to kick him “offf” “the” “Stodent Soviet” and aslo we busted his bysickle!!! that is waht hapens wen yiu Go Aginst Diversatty!!
Naturally the left-wing opposition is screaming bloody murder over the government’s “war against science and education.” That’s rich. In what way is “You are whatever gender you say you are” any kind of science? And to call it “education” is unadulterated crapola.
Can we please do that here? Our colleges and looniversities have become a parasitic burden on society. They waste boxcar-loads of public money “teaching” what can only be called a delusion. Those who teach it desperately need to be unemployed.
Suddenly Hungary is woke. It’s pushback time! Let’s pray our own country follows suit.
HELP WANTED: Gender Studies degree a must. Fantastic pay, lavish pension.
No one ever saw an ad like this while he was sober. That’s because there is no kind of “help” a degree in Gender Studies can give anyone, unless you’re burning it for heat or trying to plug a mouse-hole with it.
Why can’t we do this? Why do American taxpayers have to carry all those colleges and universities on their backs, shelling out for Gender Studies, Queer Studies, Women’s Studies, Vertically Challenged Studies, etc.? We do we have to pay these overstaffed, over-attended, over-funded institutions to mess up our country and render whole generations economically useless?
Eastern European counties like Hungary, Poland, and Czechoslovakia have already gotten a good, stiff dose of communism and have no desire to repeat the experience. They already know where Western academics want to take them: they’ve already been there, and they don’t want to go again.
Hungary, bravo, well done!
But let’s not stop at Gender Studies.
Defund the whole “higher education” dog and pony show–before it’s too late to repair the damage.
We had “a” Big Protest last nihght becose Some Racists thay ogranyzed a Sqare Dants and Sqare Dantsing evry boddy “Knows” it is Racist!! It “is” so Wite it “is” Diskusting! All us Interllecturals we say So and yiu has To beleave “us” becose we Are mutch Smarter then yiu!!
Thay shuldof stoppped “that” Dants as soon As we strated our Protest but No! thay jist kep on doingit!! but thenn we fowned out “the” Racist who ogranyzed the Sqare Dants he has got One “of” thoze litle tiny Smartcars so a buntch of us We pickedit Up and we dumped it “in” The pond!! Ha Ha! Splashh! only then Layter that gye he come “Out” of the haull and drived off In “anothre” Smartcar it was blew Insted “of” red so It shure loooks like We dumpted the rong Smartcar in the Pond uh-oh!!! So whe has got to Hyde “For A” wile butt it Is “not” goingto stop Us from pro-testing we wil Keep doingit untill evry Vesatage of Wite Coltcher it is Dissapeered!!!! And then pressadint Obamma he wil “come Bacck” and be our Pressadint agane fourevver!!! and aslo the hole Contry it wil be Rhuled by Us Introlecturals and it wil “Be A” Socilist Yutopier fourevver!!!
And i amb hapy to Ad that our Gender Studies prefesser thay gived “Us” al extry Creddit for dumpting the car In “the” Pond evin thohgh it was the rong Smartcar becose Affterall it Is “the” thawt that cownts!!!!!!
