Thares this cuountry called Cereal or Somthing “like” that and The Rushians thay has took it over “so thay” can use it to Controll our electrons in Amarica and stopp Hillery from being Pressadint and then That big dop Donold Trumpt he gose and Bombs it!!! wel that is waht Hapens when yiu hastnt got No Interllecturals like us hear at Collidge runnning yore Fareingn Pollisy! And “that is” Whiy the World it is so messed up!!
Evryboddy knows Donold Trumpt he “wants To start” Worldwar III so he can maike Humin Beans exstinked and make A Huge Prophit!! Wel wee cant Let him doo that!!
The whay yiu fikx the Midleast is yiu Convints them al to Be Transgender that is waht wee lernt to-day In Gender Studies 666! Thay can al Still be Muslams but If al the men is wimmin and al wimmin thay is men then Thay “wil alll” be Hapier! To do this We wil has to Send them Nantsy Pullosy and Chuk Shoemer and aslo Jon Kerry he Is a War Hearo like Willam The conkerer! and thay wil Advice al the peple in Cereal how To Transision into Altranate Genders! And aslo to Maike them Feeel good abote “them Selfs” we must give them Nucular Whepins so thay can Bamb al them biggits and Racists whoo dint Vote For Hillery!!!
Thare is aslo peple thare caled Aribs but we jist Take them Out of Cereal and put them al in Sweeden and Germy, that “wil” maike Cereal less Crouded. And finily the Congris and Suepream Cort thay has got to Impeech Trumpt and make Hillery Pressadint and that wil Save The Plannit!!! And that is waht “us” Interllecturals we wuld doo to fiks The Midleast!
A reader who wishes his identity protected at all costs arranged for this video to be smuggled out of a university’s gender research facility. “If they know it was me who gave you this, I’m toast,” he says. Well, Dr. Gesundheit, your secret’s safe with us!
The video, it is claimed–by who? search me–is proof positive that centaurs, like humans, are sometimes transgendered. “You’ll see that for yourself if you watch carefully,” said Name Withheld. “This is a blockbuster discovery–on a par with discovering a Blockbuster Video store still open. It just blows away everything we thought we knew about centaurs.”
I have the sad duty to tell you that our friend Joe Collidge has injured himself, reacting to this scene from the old 1958 horror movie, The Fly.
When he saw the little half-fly, half-human character get caught in the web and eaten by the spider–the film was being shown in class, Gender Studies 666–poor Joe totally freaked out. Leaping from his seat, he attempted to charge out of the room without first opening the door.
As some of you may know, Joe regularly receives shots of moth hormones, intended to transition him from human male to I don’t know what, anymore. Well, it’s an experiment. It has resulted in him sprouting a pair of moth antennae on his forehead and developing a taste for socks and handkerchiefs. Now it appears he has also come down with intense arachnophobia.
Having rendered himself unconscious by his collision with the door, Joe is currently unavailable for comment.
Well we didnt has no Gender Studies 666 class today becose the prefesser he sayed “he” didnt feel So good becose he “is” menstrubating and he got to “go” buy Some tamp-ons! So i was walkin Back “to” somplace i forget ware, Whenn I heared some guy he sayed he “has got” to Put some Trans-Gender Floid in his car!!!
Wuld yiu beleave it I didnt “know” Cars thay can be Trans-Gender jist like peple!! See i never knowed alot abote “cars” I has got no Drivver Lisince becose that Test thay “giv” yiu it isnot fare! I hate that stopid “test” becose it Dis-respecks my Micro Culture witch says i dont has to pay No “attentchen” to no stop sines or Trafick lites becose thay just istnt Part “of” My realty!! Like wheye shuld i has to stop jist “becose” of some Stopid sine that its probbly Racist! Besydes i am a Interllectural and i dont nead to dryve no Car!
But nowh that i Has “larned” that Cars thay “can” be Trans-Gender well i whant one “of thoose” Trans-Gender Cars to dryve al aruond the Campas!! It jist gose to Show yiu that Gender Floiditty it is a Unaversile Part of Natchure! Cars thay must “have” Eovvolved that waigh! jist lyke evry Thing else!!!
Yestodday we has a Specile Semenar “for” our Gender Rolls clase It “was” al abuot Tarzan!! If yiu “are” ordrinary dum peple maybbe yiou Dont “know” abuot Tarzaan he was razed by Apes!!! in the junggle!
The guesst prefessor She toled “us” tarzzan He Was “a” reel person Even thohgh Russhan Hackers thay make yiu “think its” Only A movey but N-O-O, no! it Is The Trufth!!! Thare reely was Tarazan and “he” reely Did live With “the” grate Apes in Africka or else It was Chille Or somother Place “like” that.
Now the Big Quesstoin Is did them Apes spiol Tarzaan? It al Has To do whith Gender Rolls and Neeo-colognialissm and How this hear No good Rottten Patryarckical Soceity it jist Sucks Out looud and It opreses Wimmin and Gays and coses Globbal Warming and Climbit Change!!!! so It “turns out” them apes Thay dint Spiol tarzaan At Alll becose thay Teached him To “be” a Ape insted of a Lowzy man!! And al that Bad stuff In them moveys it was jist put in by Russhans to kepe Us countrey from Havin Equallity!
The Big Lesion of Tarzaann is That hiumans And annamals Thay Are Equel and Thay are Jist Exzackly The same!!! and That “is” Whye wee al has “to Be” Veggans and not eate “no” meet or “eggs” or Hallva (i think She “sayed” Hallvah but It mihgt of Been somthing Else) and cant whare No clothes unless Thay is made Out “of” Resycled Paper!
Itt made “me” feel Kindof gillty for geting Shot ful “of” Moth Hoarmoans thats Suposed to make Me growe Femail Cromosoames But “insted” is jist made Me growe these Hear Moth Antenners and now thay “are” itchin Very Bad so I got to Go!
Let’s learn to enjoy the sound of liberals indulging in hysteria. It’s a sound that says we’ve won.
Last week a professor of Gender Studies (what else?) at Rutgers University was hauled off to a psychiatric hospital by campus police after students complained about his lurid threats to murder white people–because, of course, he was so upset that Donald Trump had been elected president ( http://newsnx.com/2016/11/19/white-rutgers-prof-given-a-psych-eval-after-threatening-to.html ). He made the threats on Twitter; I am unable to confirm reports that he also made them orally in one of his lectures.
The idiot himself is white, by the way.
Ah, Rutgers! Ah, my alma mater! Boy, oh, boy, wait’ll the next time you guys call me up and ask for money! Go ahead, make my day.
I would ordinarily sympathize with students who see their tuition dollars going up in smoke, in the form of this jackass’s salary: but if you’re going to major in Gender Studies, what else can you expect? Right off the bat, your degree is total bull****. Oh–and he also teaches a course on “Beyonce.” Plenty of quality eddication goin’ on out there!
Parents who love and respect their sons and daughters don’t send them to places like Rutgers University.
PS–Would you believe it? The nutty professor is whining that his freedom of speech has been trampled on. Where in the world did he ever hear that there was freedom of speech at dear old collidge? Does he not know that the Rutgers Student Handbook comes right out and says there’s no such thing as free speech? Guess he can’t swallow a dose of his own medicine.
I got to aplaude this Guy nammed U.C. Davis he has got “a” kind of Kit that wil help yiu evven If yiu are a ordrinary dum peple to Become a Interllectural jist like Me “and” us hear at Collidge, al yiu got To “do” is memborize his LGBTQIA Resorce Centter Glossery ( http://lgbtqia.ucdavis.edu/educated/glossary.html ).
us Interllecturals we has alyaws knowed “that” Gay Peple thay are Smarter “then” stopid ordrinary peple whoo Dont “even go to” Collidge and It wuld Be a “good thing” iff evryboddy thay Was Gay or Lessbien or Trans Gender!!. Wel yiu has to Be Smart iff yiu goin to writ a Dictinery! Man “that” U.C.Davis he “is” One Smart indervidderal!
Anyhow iff yiu are jist a ordrinary dum Person whoo dont go to Collidge nhow yiu can Be “a” Interllectural iff yiu reed This “evry” day and Memborize al them Deffanitions! We has all reddy Done this “In” our Gender Studies degreee Pogrom. and “That” is how Wee got to be Interllecturals!!! Thare isnt nothing Better then Collidge for giving yiu a reel Smart Brane but this hear Gay Glossery it Is “the” next Best thing!!!
Well, maybe this is how it happens…
The Internet is great for getting all your questions answered–and I do mean “all.”
Like, for instance, this one: “How do mummies come back to life?” ( http://www.answers.com/Q/How_do_mummies_come_back_to_life?#slide=2)
The answer site concludes that mummies, in fact, do not come back to life. Well I never!
When the Egyptians made a mummy, they soaked the body in brine for a long time, then pulled the brains out through the nose with a hook. So right there you’ve got a major problem for any mummy coming back to life and wanting to do anything more demanding than sitting in a collidge classroom learning Gender Studies. They removed the rest of the internal organs, too–another difficulty.
See, the thing is, after they did all this stuff to it, they were pretty sure the body was dead. That’s why they put it in a tomb.
We must wonder who is asking such a question, “How do mummies come back to life?” What does that tell us about our education system? Okay, not everybody knows how a mummy is prepared. But they do know–don’t they?–that any mummy dug out of the sands of Egypt has been there for a long, long time.
But I am making assumptions.