Tag Archives: gender studies

Now They’re Marching for… Hydroponic Cilantro?

Hey, you–America’s colleges and universities! Are you still here? Why? What good are you doing?

At the University of Texas, Austin, this week, “student activists” marched to demand hydroponic cilantro (https://www.wsj.com/articles/college-activists-march-on-the-cafeteria-what-do-we-want-hydroponic-cilantro-1504712705). “Wadda we want? Hydroponic cilantro! When do we wannit? Now!” In fact, these food protests are springing up on collidge campuses all across the country. At U Tex they had to hire a second college dietician because the first found herself “overwhelmed” by the sudden spate of new demands–by “feisty vegans” in particular.

Fun Fact! Over the past 30 years, college tuition, overall, has increased 400%!

As one student said, “If you’re not eating good things, how do they expect your brain to grow?”

Well, Sunshine, you’re a collidge student, so we actually expect your brain not to grow, but shrink.

Question for the colleges and universities!

What are we supposed to do with these millions of disgruntled “students,” once you’ve finished with them? They’re too spoiled and unreliable to be employed in any useful capacity, and much too disagreeable to serve as pets. They have degrees in ridiculous subjects like Gender Studies and Advanced Comic Book Studies and their brains have atrophied, thanks to you. What in the world are we supposed to do with them?

America’s colleges and universities are a millstone around her neck… and the water’s getting deeper.


How we To Fix The Midleast!

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Thares this cuountry called Cereal or Somthing “like” that and The Rushians thay has took it over “so thay” can use it to Controll our electrons in Amarica and stopp Hillery from being Pressadint and then That big dop Donold Trumpt he gose and Bombs it!!! wel that is waht Hapens when yiu hastnt got No Interllecturals like us hear at Collidge runnning yore Fareingn Pollisy! And “that is” Whiy the World it is so messed up!!

Evryboddy knows Donold Trumpt he “wants To start” Worldwar III so he can maike Humin Beans exstinked and make A Huge Prophit!! Wel wee cant Let him doo that!!

The whay yiu fikx the Midleast is yiu Convints them al to Be Transgender that is waht wee lernt to-day In Gender Studies 666! Thay can al Still be Muslams but If al the men is wimmin and al wimmin thay is men then Thay “wil alll” be Hapier! To do this We wil has to Send them Nantsy Pullosy and Chuk Shoemer and aslo Jon Kerry he Is a War Hearo like Willam The conkerer! and thay wil Advice al the peple in Cereal how To Transision into Altranate Genders! And aslo to Maike them Feeel good abote “them Selfs” we must give them Nucular Whepins so thay can Bamb al them biggits and Racists whoo dint Vote For Hillery!!!

Thare is aslo peple thare caled Aribs but we jist Take them Out of Cereal and put them al in Sweeden and Germy, that “wil” maike Cereal less Crouded. And finily the Congris and Suepream Cort thay has got to Impeech Trumpt and make Hillery Pressadint and that wil Save The Plannit!!! And that is waht “us” Interllecturals we wuld doo to fiks The Midleast!


Transgender Centaur Sighting!

A reader who wishes his identity protected at all costs arranged for this video to be smuggled out of a university’s gender research facility. “If they know it was me who gave you this, I’m toast,” he says. Well, Dr. Gesundheit, your secret’s safe with us!

The video, it is claimed–by who? search me–is proof positive that centaurs, like humans, are sometimes transgendered. “You’ll see that for yourself if you watch carefully,” said Name Withheld. “This is a blockbuster discovery–on a par with discovering a Blockbuster Video store still open. It just blows away everything we thought we knew about centaurs.”


Joe Collidge Freaks Out!

I have the sad duty to tell you that our friend Joe Collidge has injured himself, reacting to this scene from the old 1958 horror movie, The Fly.

When he saw the little half-fly, half-human character get caught in the web and eaten by the spider–the film was being shown in class, Gender Studies 666–poor Joe totally freaked out. Leaping from his seat, he attempted to charge out of the room without first opening the door.

As some of you may know, Joe regularly receives shots of moth hormones, intended to transition him from human male to I don’t know what, anymore. Well, it’s an experiment. It has resulted in him sprouting a pair of moth antennae on his forehead and developing a taste for socks and handkerchiefs. Now it appears he has also come down with intense arachnophobia.

Having rendered himself unconscious by his collision with the door, Joe is currently unavailable for comment.


Cars thay Are Trans-Gender Tooo!

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Well we didnt has no Gender Studies 666 class today becose the prefesser he sayed “he” didnt feel So good becose he “is” menstrubating and he got to “go” buy Some tamp-ons! So i was walkin Back “to” somplace i forget ware, Whenn I heared some guy he sayed he “has got” to Put some Trans-Gender Floid in his car!!!

Wuld yiu beleave it I didnt “know” Cars thay can be Trans-Gender jist like peple!! See i never knowed alot abote “cars” I has got no Drivver Lisince becose that Test thay “giv” yiu it isnot fare! I hate that stopid “test” becose it Dis-respecks my Micro Culture witch says i dont has to pay No “attentchen” to no stop sines or Trafick lites becose thay just istnt Part “of” My realty!! Like wheye shuld i has to stop jist “becose” of some Stopid sine that its probbly Racist! Besydes i am a Interllectural and i dont nead to dryve no Car!

But nowh that i Has “larned” that Cars thay “can” be Trans-Gender well i whant one “of thoose” Trans-Gender Cars to dryve al aruond the Campas!! It jist gose to Show yiu that Gender Floiditty it is a Unaversile Part of Natchure! Cars thay must “have” Eovvolved that waigh! jist lyke evry Thing else!!!


‘You Got no Interllecturals Day’

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Well, the Day “without” No Immagrints Day it was a Big Sucxsess and it gived us hear “at” Collidge a reel Grate idear!! Lets seee how Quick The countrie it Cries Uncle iff al them stopid ordrinary dumb peple thay got to Do without us Interllecturals for a Day!!!

And So we has orgranized “the” Day without No Interrlecturals Day it is scredulled for Feb. 30 and jist yiu waight And see What Happens wen thay hasnt got No interllecturals to do thare stopid “thinkin” for them! Boy wil thay be hurtin!! Then thay willl al Think Twicet abote standin Arond like dops wile Donold Trump he burns Up “the” hole Worlld jist so he “Can” make a Prophit!!

Jist think! Four one hole day them Stopid Dops thay wont have No more Gender Studies! No Wimmins Studies! No Socile Jutstice Studies! It wil be as Bad as havving No Ellectrisity and No Viddio games! Oh are thay goin “to” howell!! and it wil Serve them rihght!!! Thay wil soon Be begging for Us to come “back and” do al thare thinkin For them! And then thay wil have to Let Hillery be pressidint!

P.S.–As yiu Can seee i am Out of Jale now becose thay kicked Me out affter jist one Nihght and gess whatt them Fashist cops thay didd? Thay made a Terrarist Threat on me, “thay” sayed iff I ever gets Arested again thay goin to cal My Fambly! I dont want that to hapen becose my Grand Ma and Grand Pa thay sayed thay wuld use my asp for Targit Practise iff thay “see” me arond anymore. So i Has got “to” avoyed them for a wile!


What’ll We Do With Millenials?

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We have a gigantic social problem looming over our country.

What are we to do with millenials?

Recent college graduates, tens of thousands of them, with their whole lives yet to live–can’t hold jobs, can’t tolerate even the most trivial adversity, saturated with an ideology that is opposed to everything America stands for, unable to relate to people as individuals but only as representatives of this or that group, guaranteed and certified 100% useless–what in the world are we supposed to do with them?

Don’t get me wrong. I enjoy the company of teens and tweens, provided they haven’t been turned upside-down and inside-out by our culture and our schools. I wish I had more of you guys visiting this blog, to pep it up a little.

No, I’m talking about young people with degrees in Gender Studies and Social Justice, burdened by a load of student debt, who go stampeding for the Play-Doh and the Safe Space at the first little hitch in life that comes along, who want a participation trophy just for breathing. You can’t talk to them without triggering a trauma. And if you can imagine them trying to bring up children of their own, you have a more vivid imagination than I do.

So what are we supposed to do with them? They won’t be able to support themselves. Imagine hiring Joe Collidge to do anything more complex than sweep the floor.

I wish I knew the answer to that question.


Did them Apes Spiol Tarzan??

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Yestodday we has a Specile Semenar “for” our Gender Rolls clase It “was” al abuot Tarzan!! If yiu “are” ordrinary dum peple maybbe yiou Dont “know” abuot Tarzaan he was razed by Apes!!! in the junggle!

The guesst prefessor She toled “us” tarzzan He Was “a” reel person Even thohgh Russhan Hackers thay make yiu “think its” Only A movey but N-O-O, no! it Is The Trufth!!! Thare reely was Tarazan and “he” reely Did live With “the” grate Apes in Africka or else It was Chille Or somother Place “like” that.

Now the Big Quesstoin Is did them Apes spiol Tarzaan? It al Has To do whith Gender Rolls and Neeo-colognialissm and How this hear No good Rottten Patryarckical Soceity it jist Sucks Out looud and It opreses Wimmin and Gays and coses Globbal Warming and Climbit Change!!!! so It “turns out” them apes Thay dint Spiol tarzaan At Alll becose thay Teached him To “be” a Ape insted of a Lowzy man!! And al that Bad stuff In them moveys it was jist put in by Russhans to kepe Us countrey from Havin Equallity!

The Big Lesion of Tarzaann is That hiumans And annamals Thay Are Equel and Thay are Jist Exzackly The same!!! and That “is” Whye wee al has “to Be” Veggans and not eate “no” meet or “eggs” or Hallva (i think She “sayed” Hallvah but It mihgt of Been somthing Else) and cant whare No clothes unless Thay is made Out “of” Resycled Paper!

Itt made “me” feel Kindof gillty for geting Shot ful “of” Moth Hoarmoans thats Suposed to make Me growe Femail Cromosoames But “insted” is jist made Me growe these Hear Moth Antenners and now thay “are” itchin Very Bad so I got to Go!


Rutgers Prof Carted Off for Saying He Wants to Kill White People

Let’s learn to enjoy the sound of liberals indulging in hysteria. It’s a sound that says we’ve won.

Last week a professor of Gender Studies (what else?) at Rutgers University was hauled off to a psychiatric hospital by campus police after students complained about his lurid threats to murder white people–because, of course, he was so upset that Donald Trump had been elected president ( http://newsnx.com/2016/11/19/white-rutgers-prof-given-a-psych-eval-after-threatening-to.html ). He made the threats on Twitter; I am unable to confirm reports that he also made them orally in one of his lectures.

The idiot himself is white, by the way.

Ah, Rutgers! Ah, my alma mater! Boy, oh, boy, wait’ll the next time you guys call me up and ask for money! Go ahead, make my day.

I would ordinarily sympathize with students who see their tuition dollars going up in smoke, in the form of this jackass’s salary: but if you’re going to major in Gender Studies, what else can you expect? Right off the bat, your degree is total bull****. Oh–and he also teaches a course on “Beyonce.” Plenty of quality eddication goin’ on out there!

Parents who love and respect their sons and daughters don’t send them to places like Rutgers University.

PS–Would you believe it? The nutty professor is whining that his freedom of speech has been trampled on. Where in the world did he ever hear that there was freedom of speech at dear old collidge? Does he not know that the Rutgers Student Handbook comes right out and says there’s no such thing as free speech? Guess he can’t swallow a dose of his own medicine.


Nhow Yuo can Be A Interllectural Like Me!

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I got to aplaude this Guy nammed U.C. Davis he has got “a” kind of Kit that wil help yiu evven If yiu are a ordrinary dum peple to Become a Interllectural jist like Me “and” us hear at Collidge, al yiu got To “do” is memborize his LGBTQIA Resorce Centter Glossery ( http://lgbtqia.ucdavis.edu/educated/glossary.html ).

us Interllecturals we has alyaws knowed “that” Gay Peple thay are Smarter “then” stopid ordrinary peple whoo Dont “even go to” Collidge and It wuld Be a “good thing” iff evryboddy thay Was Gay or Lessbien or Trans Gender!!. Wel yiu has to Be Smart iff yiu goin to writ a Dictinery! Man “that” U.C.Davis he “is” One Smart indervidderal!

Anyhow iff yiu are jist a ordrinary dum Person whoo dont go to Collidge nhow yiu can Be “a” Interllectural iff yiu reed This “evry” day and Memborize al them Deffanitions! We has all reddy Done this “In” our Gender Studies degreee Pogrom.  and “That” is how Wee got to be Interllecturals!!! Thare isnt nothing Better then Collidge for giving yiu a reel Smart Brane but this hear Gay Glossery it Is “the” next Best thing!!!


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