I have the sad duty to tell you that our friend Joe Collidge has injured himself, reacting to this scene from the old 1958 horror movie, The Fly.
When he saw the little half-fly, half-human character get caught in the web and eaten by the spider–the film was being shown in class, Gender Studies 666–poor Joe totally freaked out. Leaping from his seat, he attempted to charge out of the room without first opening the door.
As some of you may know, Joe regularly receives shots of moth hormones, intended to transition him from human male to I don’t know what, anymore. Well, it’s an experiment. It has resulted in him sprouting a pair of moth antennae on his forehead and developing a taste for socks and handkerchiefs. Now it appears he has also come down with intense arachnophobia.
Having rendered himself unconscious by his collision with the door, Joe is currently unavailable for comment.
Ha, ha, I snuck in hear again. That guy lee he just dont pay no atension.
Som of yiu ordrinary dumm peple out thear has been makin fun of my speling and my grammer even tho i am in collidge and yuo arenot so that makes me smartter than yuo rihgjt then and their.
My prefesser he sais my speling and grammer is jost fine. In fact, he sais its my MICRO CULTURE. Only us interllecturals kno what Micro Culture is but i wil tel you othrewize you wil nevver kno. Theys the Big Culture and then theys some Sub Cultures, lik Amerika is the Big Culture and Collidge is the Sub Culture (the smartest one!!), and then thear is the Micro Culture which is Just Me! I am my hole Micro Culture and my prefesser he sais anyboddy who say my speling and grammer are no good, he is a Hater and a Showvinist who dont lik otyher peple’s Micro Culture.
Meenwile i am still in that exspearmint for Reality Studies and stil livin in my prefessers tool shed. He sais the hoody hydes my donky-ears reel good, and we are stil wating to sea if thay can change my mail cromosoms to femail and then we wil alll win a Noble Prize.
PS, we stil workin on give you a free Collidge Degre if yiu don’t reed lee’s books. I wisht i culd git a freee degre, it takin jist forevver to get my degre in Gender Studies.
I seen This movie yestadday it “was” in Gender Studies class and it was jist apsolotely grate!! only i cant rebember what “it” was callled. Aslo i cant rember whoo was in it but It was abuot some guy he Got his self turned into A wimmin and al Her fammly thay got Mad at waht she done And “so” thay made a Lot “of” micro-gresions aginst Her! and thatt was becose thay al ware no-good stopid christins.
Wel “let me” tel yiu that storey it got me good and mad! Wen yiu get yore selff turned into a Wimmin evryboddy has got To afirm yiu and cellerbrate waht yiu done! Hear at Collidge us Interllecturals we has maid sure “that” noboddy even aloud to Say annything hatful wen “someboddy” thay gett a Gender Change and if yiu dosnt say It “is” goood yiu gets Put inta Diversity Training!!!
Gee i wish I culd rember Waht was the Tietal of “that” movie but when thay showed The tietal thare was Somthing rong with My Moth Antenners thay was itchin somthing feerce and i jist keeped scrachin and scrachin butt “it” wuldnt stopp!! Wel yiu cann fiend out More abuot “this” movie Iff yiu go to Collidge and sine up For Gender Studies becose fromm Now “on” evryone hear has got “to” see it and wee “wil” make It a “New Rule” that yiu has to say its Goood or else yiu bein hatful “and” Intollerent and we wil beet yiu up Until yiu larn How to bee “more” Tollerent and aslo Incluesieve!
So dont yiu Dare “miss” This movie!
And nowe My antenners thay stil ichin I got to gett Out “of” hear.
The world of archaeology is buzzing with a new theory advanced by Dr. Ringly Fungo, professor of Gender Studies at Hooza University. Who was the great Sphinx? Scholars have puzzled over this for centuries.
Now Dr. Fungo has the answer.
“It’s some guy with a lion’s body!” he declares. “It’s not some lion with a human head. Those were very, very rare!”
But who was it? A pharaoh? A prince? A high priest of Amun-Ra?
“For that information, we have to turn to Superhero Studies,” Dr. Fungo says. “That narrows it down considerable-like. The ancient Egyptians, who were all racists, concealed the statue’s identity. They also gave their superheroes silly names. But it’s either The Mighty Thor–who, it turns out, was a woman–or a superhero from Atlantis named Brandon.”
How did he come to that conclusion?
“You are triggering me with that question!” he replies. “I no longer feel welcome here! I no longer feel affirmed. Don’t even think of following me into my safe space!”
Unless my crystal ball has stopped working, we’re soon going to hear a lot of talk about “free college education for all.” What a fabulous idea! But Fimbo College is two years ahead of the curve.
This higher education is practically a guaranteed ticket to a lifetime’s unemployment! And all in return for just a thousand cereal boxtops! That and an official college degree in Gender Studies–what more could you possibly ask?
There’s too much defeatism out there. Too many Christians carrying on like the battle’s lost already, bad guys win, nothing we can do about it, etc. Like they forgot the nooze media never tells the truth and purposely tries to demoralize us so Democrats will win… and maybe they’re starting to believe the lies, half-truths, exaggerations, and minimizations that we’re all bombarded with all day, every day.
Are we not servants of the living God, Jehovah, who made the heavens and the earth? Is our faithfulness dependent on our worldly success?
“But what do we have to fight with? They’ve got the media, they’ve got the schools, they’ve got Hollywood, they’ve got wealth and power and are unrestrained by any moral considerations–”
We have resources, though.
*Our brains–surely we are equal to the task of coming up with difficulties that will confuse and exasperate the enemy, even as he confuses and exasperates us. They’re supposed to be The Smartest People In The World–and look at them. If we can’t outsmart a mob of useful idiots with degrees in Gender Studies, we deserve to be conquered.
*The truth–we have the truth and they don’t. We should lose no opportunity to proclaim it. Yes, they’ve paralyzed the world with some shallowly convincing lies–think “man-made climate change” and “systemic racism”–and they have the pulpits and megaphones with which to preach them every day. But if they were so sure of their hold on everybody’s minds, would they still be fighting so hard to establish it? Put truth up against their lies and see who wins.
*We have recourse to prayer, and they don’t. What–are they going to get on their knees and pray “O God, help us to promote abortion?” Or any other one of a myriad of evils they embrace. God hears the prayers of His people, but the prayers of the wicked are an abomination to Him.
Here is where we are tested, here and now, where the rubber meets the road. Are we servants of God, or just hangers-on? Do we trust in God or don’t we?
These are the days of Elijah.
Pray harder, sing louder, and proclaim the truth. Christ already has the victory, and we are His people. Ooh-rah!
What are we supposed to do with a couple million numbskulls with degrees in Gender Studies and Intersectional Political Ecology of Superheroes? And Democrats want to make more of them–lots more.
There is no room for doubt: their goal is to wreck the country.
It seems that sometime after Election Day 2016, a lot of adult black women mysteriously became obese. Now, thanks to a professor of gender studies at Rutgers Looniversity, we know what made that happen.
The fact that many of them were overweight years before anyone even thought of Trump as a political figure can be explained by a form of unconscious clairvoyance. Subconsciously anticipating that Donald Trump would become president, years and years ahead, their bodies began to adapt to the inevitable “racial stress for people of color” by packing on the pounds.
I went to that stupid university. Wait’ll the next time Rutgers phones to ask for an alumni contribution from me.
It would be unkind to quote directly from this, er, professor’s babblings, or to give her name. Suffice it to say that it is unconscionable for the taxpayers of New Jersey to have to pay this whining gasbag’s salary.
“Higher education”–it’ll kill us if we don’t defund it.
Let’s face it, fossil fuels are like totally destroying The Planet and the world’s gonna end in ten years if we don’t stop using them.
But not to worry–now you can have your own nuclear power plant! It’ll generate all the electricity you’ll ever need, and won’t take up any more space in your back yard than that storage shed where you keep the naughty pictures.
The Great Leap Forward to Personal Nuclear Power, by Dr. Eugene Foopus, Professor of Gender Studies at Yail University, is an easy little 28-page booklet that tells you how to build and operate a nuclear reactor. Don’t worry about getting bogged down in hard-to-understand technical language! Hand-drawn diagrams do a more than adequate job of explaining it, and Dr. Foopus is very careful not to use words you might not understand.
As for fueling your reactor with costly uranium–well, by the time you get the thing built, says Dr. Foopus, there will be a new Democrat president and uranium will once more be for sale by the State Dept. Make sure you’re first in line!
Available from the Social Justice Press for $2,499.99.
Collidge is jist So grate, this hear Is “the” plaice for Grate Idears!
Yeasterday we hadded “a” Stodent Soviet meting and we de-sided to has New Eye Contack Ragulasions!!! See, If yiu “dose” too mutch Eye Contack, “it is” Sexural Harasssmint! Butt iff yiu dont do no Eye Contack “at” alll, then that it is “a” Microa Grecian!!! And ether whay yiu whind Up in Censativvitty Traning!!! Unlest yiu are in the Stodent Soviet,, than yiu “are” Exumpted!!!
Butt we has got Somthing evven beter then That!!! Our Cheef Comasar she is Goingto Run four Pressadint!!!!! She is been In Collidge sinst 1991 so she is reely Smart!!!!! Neckst yeer she whil probbly get her Batchler’s Deegree in Wimmins Introspectionul Ginder Studdies! So she whil be reddy to Be Pressadint,, she evin Looks like Hillery!
Jist nhow She belangs to the Socilist Workers Peeples Jutstus Vegan Party butt she whil seak the nombinacion fromb the Demmocrats thare isnt no diffrints anymoar and aslo now the rest “of” us we al got To “join” i hoap i can fined some Munny becose yiu “has” to pay Dooze!!
Wel we pased themb Eye Contack ragulacions the voat “it was” Unaminase Exept for this one stupid “doap” he voated Aginst It so we hadded to kick him “offf” “the” “Stodent Soviet” and aslo we busted his bysickle!!! that is waht hapens wen yiu Go Aginst Diversatty!!
