Here, world, is my contribution to human progress.
Look, we have a real problem anymore with our colleges and universities turning young people into useless quaking idiots. Like, how are we supposed to run a country full of thin-skinned little nits who collapse into fetal position the moment they see or hear something they don’t like, and whose idea of being well-informed consists of being able to name 50 different genders?
So it looks like we’ll have to set up anti-colleges and anti-universities to try to undo some of the havoc that’s been wrought with students’ minds, try to straighten out some of what’s been twisted and tangled upstairs, and maybe after four years come up with someone who’s actually employable.
By that time, of course, they’ll be thirty years old or even older–but better late than never. Without anti-college, we’ll just have millions of ninnies on the dole, watching each other’s ponytails grow grey.
If we don’t get conquered first by anyone who thinks that would be worth doing.
Anti-college! Because someone has to clean up the mess.