Work Wanted (College Grad)

Image result for images of idiots in college

So push has come to shove, and Mom and Pop have threatened to evict you from the  basement if you don’t get at least a part-time job.

Well, here at Beezer University, we have a whole bulletin board set aside for our graduates who are looking for employment commensurate with their degrees. [Note to self: How many BU grads will know what “commensurate” means?]

Here are a few samples.

WORK WANTED–HONEYMOON CHAPERONE. Just because it’s your honeymoon doesn’t mean you should let Mr. Man get away with hanky-panky! Feminist Relationship Studies degree: I WILL KEEP HIM IN HIS PLACE.

WORK WANTED–PLAY DATE SUPERVISOR. Make sure your child understands Diversity! My degree in Advanced Chicano Physics gives me insight into childish minds! Salary negotiatable!

WORK WANTED–TOILET PAPER RECYCLING. Let me wash your toilet paper so you can use it again and again! Together we can Save the Planet! I have a seven-year Batcheler’s Degree in Saving The Planet Studies.

WORK WANTED–FOOD TASTER. You never knows when someone he is trying to poison you! That’s why you need a food taster. That’s why you need me! I am udderly fearless, I will taste anything. You’ll believe it when you see me! I come compleate with a degree in Superhero Studies.

Well, what are you waiting for? Just $20 will display your “Work Wanted” index card for a whole five days! And if you don’t have the cash, we make it easy for you to just tack it on to your outstanding student loan.

About leeduigon

I have lived in Metuchen, NJ, all my life. I have been married to my wife Patricia since 1977. I am a former newspaper editor and reporter. I was also the owner-operator of my own small business for several years. I wrote various novels and short stories published during 1980s and 1990s. I am a long-time student of judo and Japanese swordsmanship (kenjutsu). I also play chess, basketball, and military and sports simulations. View all posts by leeduigon

4 responses to “Work Wanted (College Grad)

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