How to tel If Yore A Interllectural

I jist come From “a” specale Sembinar the Lexture it Was “abuot” waht makes yiu a Interllectural and i wil tel Yiu abuot it. Of corse to reely be a Interllectural yiu shuld ouhght to Be in Collidge and a lot of Peple who been to Collidge “thay” has Forgot how to bee Interllecturals! Annyhow, Yiu know yiu are A Interllectural iff Yiu beleave:

Worrld govvermint is dezirable, feesable, neseccary, and Inevatable.

The USA fedrel govvermint shuld aughht to be Bigger and More Powarfull.

Yiu are much Smarter then Ordrinary Dum Peple and thay shold ouhght to Look Up to yiu and doo Waht yiu say becose Yiu so smart and Thay dont know nothing!!!

Relgion is no-good And stopid and christinty it is The worst!!

Gay Peple are Better than strait peple and strait peple thay “are” alll biggits!

It is Alyaws Good for a wimmim To has a bortion!

Any boddy Who dont beleave “in” Globbal Warming thay shuld bee throne in Jale!!!

Black Lifes Matter and wite Lifes thay dont Matter at all unless thay Interllecturals at collidge or Else Dembocratt pollaticians thay protectt Us “from” hatful haters and Racists and biggits and Homo Fobes and Trans Fobes and captolists.

Wel thare Was “a lot” More, i has jist onely gived yiu The high lites if yiu Whant to know al thare Is To know abuot It yiu shuld auhght to by His book i ferget waht The boook it is caled but its by Prefesser Smith or some name like that, yiu Can Fined it Easy i think thay was seling it On TV on PMS or one of Thoose Statoins.

6 comments on “How to tel If Yore A Interllectural

  1. Heaven forbid that I should ever become “a interlektural” or anything even
    close to that. When I speak or write, I want people to understand what I
    am saying.

    1. Really, the highest intellectuals of all are the ones who are understood by nobody–not even other intellectuals. The infallible sign of a high-grade intellectual is sheer incomprehensibility.

  2. “Really, the highest intellectuals of all are the ones who are understood by nobody”

    Lee this isn’t true- the people you are satirizing are pseudo-intellectuals. I fear you may be “giving them” the word “intellectual,” which they don’t deserve. Edmund Burke was an intellectual, for example. If you surrender this august title to these spiteful, spoiled, politically correct lunatics, I think this is a big mistake. They don’t deserve to have this word. Possibly we should popularize your spelling for them- they can be the “interlekshuals” and let’s save the real term for the real intellectuals. They may seem few and far between these days, but they exist.

    At any rate, Happy Thanksgiving. And MERRY CHRISTMAS which is just around the corner!!

    1. Thank you, Jess, and the same to you.

      As for the real intellectuals who actually deserve the title, I doubt they will think I’m satirizing them. What I’m really shooting at is our bloated university system which has turned into a mockery of itself and very badly needs to be whittled down.

  3. “our bloated university system which has turned into a mockery of itself and very badly needs to be whittled down”

    I couldn’t agree more. I can also report that aeons ago, when I was a university student, this process of infantilization already had a firm grip- and I don’t even want to think about how long it’s been since I was at Collidge.

    On the other hand, one advantage of being old is that I’m no longer faced with politically correct lunatics on a daily basis. It’s their smugness that I can’t stand. That and the overt Stalinism. Take your pick. Tough choice eh?

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