In every apartment building there’s got to be some idiot who inflicts hardships on everybody else. We thought we’d gotten rid of our idiots over a year ago. They had a laundry fetish, liked to do it every day and every night, two or three items at a time, so no one else could use the washer or the dryer. They had other nasty habits, too, and we were ecstatically glad when they were finally evicted.
Well, that gave someone else the opportunity to take over as top chowderhead. We cannot be 100% sure which tenant is doing this, but somebody, every time he feels just a teensy bit hot and just can’t think of turning off the radiator or opening a window, goes down the cellar and turns off the heating system. Then it gets really cold, so he goes down again and turns it back on.
So today, on the coldest day of the year, our building has no heat at all because the cotton-pickin’ boiler’s busted! Yup–turning it off and on, off and on, over and over again, stressed the metal and broke it. Now the landlord will have to hustle to put in a new boiler, and it’ll cost him plenty. He says he has told this tenant not to turn off the heat, told him more than once, but he stops short of making an open accusation.
Oh, there are so many ways of imposing yourself on your neighbors! Our last batch of idiots knew ’em all. Loud, lousy music for hours on end; car parts strewn all over the place; running a loud air compressor all day, every day; disabling the washing machine so that no one else could use it, so that your two baseball caps could soak all day; picking fights–and when one idiot finally goes, there is always another to take his place.
Father in heaven, give us patience!