a Not so Hapy Newyeers Four Me!

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Well dammit thanks to Wite Privlidge and Globble Warming i had a reely Stinky no good Newyears!! in facked i wond Up “in” the hopsitol!!

See it was “so” coled on Newyeers Eave that we culdnt has our annul Fire Works dissplay “hear” at Collidge! Globble Warming it makes The “wheather” reel coled and we culdnt be “out Side” so we desided to has the Fire Works indors in the LBGTQZ Stodent Centaur and this Wite Soupremist Deen he tryed to stopp Us!!! he sayed it “is” Not Safe but he ownly sayed that becose he wuld Not checkk his Wite Privlidge and aslo he got Homo Fobier!!

So we “has” The Fire Works any how in-side the Stodent Centaur and it was Going “jist find” until al Of A sodden the bilding it cought Fire!!! and we knowed “it was” that knotsy Deen his fallt and “The” hole damm thing burnt Down! and I dont know How “evry boddy” thay got Out and no boddy thay “got” burnt to Daeth but Me I got one of my Moth Antenners burnt offf!! O man did that “hurt”!!! and i had to Go “to” The Hopsitol and i ownly jist Got “out” Twoday!

Thare woodnt be No fire exept that Wite Privlidge Deen he wanted “it” to start A Fire “and” so it did!! and No boddy thay seen him “sints the” Fire!! He is hyding Out “and Boy” iff we evver “find” him he wil reely “Get It!!@

About leeduigon

I have lived in Metuchen, NJ, all my life. I have been married to my wife Patricia since 1977. I am a former newspaper editor and reporter. I was also the owner-operator of my own small business for several years. I wrote various novels and short stories published during 1980s and 1990s. I am a long-time student of judo and Japanese swordsmanship (kenjutsu). I also play chess, basketball, and military and sports simulations. View all posts by leeduigon

5 responses to “a Not so Hapy Newyeers Four Me!

  • UnKnowable

    Time to confess something here. When my great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, grandfather stepped off the Mayflower, the first thing he did was turn to his pilgrim wife and said: “Bubbles baby, In yon land, I’m going to ban indoor fireworks and let ’em all know who’s boss. Now, make with the Scotch & Soda before I trade you in for two 20 year olds.” Great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great, grandmother Bubbles said: “Tommy-boy, you ain’t wired for 220”, but she did fetch some Scotch anyhow. 🙂

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  • Phoebe

    Lee, this one is priceless. I laughed so hard that tears were coming out of my eyes — which made it hard for me to keep reading, but I persevered. 🙂 Oh, but poor Joe. Will he ever get his burnt-off moth antenna back?

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