In conjunction with Jidrool University, Fizzleton, Illinois, next weekend will host a city-wide Tide Pod Challenge, with the survivors–er, winners–winning scholarships to Jidrool.
“These are the kind of stodents thay wil groh up and chainge the whirld!” said university president Dr. Desmond Dustmop. “These hear thay are jist the kind of stodents we been waiting for!”
Added Fizzleton Mayor Rainor Shyne, “It’s also a great way to weed out idiots. I mean, you’ve gotta be an idiot to try to eat a laundry detergent pod, right?”
Winners will get scholarships for degree programs in Feminist Geography, Queer Theater Theory, and Gender Studies for Chicano Dwarfs. Other contestants will receive free burial. The competition is open to all Fizzleton High School seniors and juniors.