Can’t Miss! ‘Throne of Games’

Image result for images of funny game of thrones

While I’m waiting for them to print The Silver Trumpet, I’ve got an idea for another fantasy series that just can’t help but make boxcar-loads of money.

I’ll call it A Throne of Games–I’m already offering the TV and movie rights–and it will feature beloved fantasy characters with really cool names.

Tydibol, the drop-dead gorgeous Invincible Female Warrior who does jumpin’, spinnin’ kicks.

Gassex the Crusty But Benign Old Wizard who talks like a text message.

Clairol the Buxom Tavern Wench, always up for a good time.

The Duke of Pez, villainous beyond belief, with a castlefull of monsters.

Solgar the Strong, the drop-dead gorgeous Hunk, Invincible Male Warrior with this really thick neck, it’s hard to tell where his head begins, who does jumpin’, spinnin’ kicks.

Plus a multitude of drop-dead gorgeous know-it-all Elves, insatiably lusty Dwarves, and all sorts of supporting characters who have absolutely no morals and commit all manner of revolting crimes.

Because, you see, in A Throne of Games, everyone’s bad–unless they’re, like, this total victim who’ll be lucky to survive two pages–and so the reader doesn’t have to decide who to root for, he can just sit back and enjoy the sex and carnage. In fact, these characters are so loathsome, even I’m turned off. Whose idea was it to get me to write this garbage? Well, confound it, I won’t! And I am withdrawing those movie and TV offers as of this confounded minute!

5 comments on “Can’t Miss! ‘Throne of Games’

  1. Something like this would sell a million. The less moral the characters, the bigger a hit it will be. You have distilled modern entertainment to its very essence, immorality. 🙂

  2. Good parody! I tried watching “Game of Thrones” one time but the sex and “F” bomb sent me to another station. A pet peeve: Long chase scenes in movies and TV dramas – boring. I always think they couldn’t come up with enough interesting story line so they fill up time with a chase scene.

    1. Never saw the show, but I did plod through one of the 600-page books and was left wondering why in the world it was successful.

Leave a Reply