How thoroughly has college educated your son or daughter, niece or nephew, or your hamster, for that matter?
This quickie True-False test will help you find out. Just pop these five questions on ’em.
*Basques were invented in Polynesia and didn’t arrive in Spain until the 1950s.
*The Romans only stopped staging gladiatorial shows when the TV ratings hit bottom.
*Shakespeare’s plays were written by Zach Von Beethoven.
*In physics, Newton’s Third Law refers to getting a license to operate a telescope.
*The Vikings were not able to discover America until 1808, long after the rest of the world had done so.
This, of course, is “education,” so you only get credit for getting the answers wrong. So the right answers–all five are False: honest–are actually the wrong answers. Got that? I hope so, because explaining it is beginning to tax my wits. And here’s how you evaluate.
All five True: a Ph. D. candidate
Four of five True: master’s degree
Three of five: bachelor’s degree
Two of five: Go back to high school, you’re not ready for college
One of five: We suspect homeschooling!
All five False: Racist! White privilege! Colonialist! Ablist! etc.