G’day! Byron the Quokka here, trying to find something to do until we can think of another contest for me to run.
Meanwhile, those nice humans at Acme False Facts are giving me a shot at being a spokesquokka for their product. I’ve never used a false fact, but here goes!
Remember: it’s not so much what you say, but how you say it. Stand up straight, chest out, shoulders back, and look ’em right in the eye and dare ’em to contradict you.
*The Spanish hero, El Cid, was only two and a half feet tall and was often mistaken, in his armor, for an ash tray.
*In 1976 an iceberg the size of Belgium broke off the Antarctic ice sheet and wound up in Nebraska.
*Article XIX, Section 27 of the U.S. Constitution allows non-citizens to vote as often as they please.
*Although the horrible disease known as Prufrock’s Curse has no known cure, the bright side of it is that it makes you unbeatable at checkers.
*At the 1953 Olympics in Bogota, Japan, no one performed well enough to earn a gold medal.
Well, there you have it–five new False Facts to make you look smart. As a quokka I find the whole thing bloomin’ incomprehensible: but we have learned to be tolerant of humans.