New York Mayor Astounded that Criminals Commit Crimes

Sculpture of Magician Merlin with crystal ball Stock Photo ...

Where was Merlin when we needed him?

New York Mayor “Bill DeBlasio” (real name, Warren Wilhelm Jr.: I don’t know why he uses an alias) expressed “shock” and disappointment that some of the convicted felons recently let out of jail… have already gone back to committing crimes (

Wow. You coulda knocked him over with a feather. I mean, really, who would’ve thought it–criminals committing crimes? You show them mercy, laments the mayor, and they just go out and do it again. At least 50 out of the first 1,500 released have already been arrested for more crimes–and some of them have already been released again.

You’d almost think they were trying to get back into jail! Well, sorry, guys, but we’re gonna need those cells for crimes that bother liberals–Climate Change denial, mis-gendering, failing to affirm gay marriage, cultural appropriation, and showing insufficient deference to liberals. We can’t be bothered with silly little things like armed robbery, attempted murder, or running someone over with your car on purpose.

Still… Heck, you’d have needed Merlin and Nostradamus together to predict a thing like this: criminals committing crimes.

This is supposed to be a sure-fire technique to protect jailbirds from getting the coronavirus. But in fact, Democrats were already talking about emptying out the prisons months before anyone ever heard of coronavirus. Leftids have a natural affinity for criminals: go ahead, tell me I’m wrong.

Well, you can’t blame an honest Sandinista wannabe like “Bill DeBlasio” for failing to foresee something as far beyond the bounds of likelihood as this. We’re sure that, once the crisis is past, they’ll all come tamely back to finish their interrupted prison sentences.

9 comments on “New York Mayor Astounded that Criminals Commit Crimes

  1. DeBlasio also didn’t realize that when he set up a “snitch line” for people to report violations of social distancing, the line would be so bombarded with insults and (regrettably) obscene texts that it finally had to be taken down.

    Understanding human nature doesn’t seem to be one of DeBlasio’s strong suits.

  2. Bill changed his name to honor his maternal family. Sean Hannity loves to tear into deBlasio and Gov. Cuomo for their ineptness, corruption, and hypocrisy – Sean ought to know because he lives there. The Left believes it is society’s fault people become criminals.

  3. Remember DeBlasio was trying to run for PRESIDENT? Lawlessness has steadily increased in my neighborhood and citywide over these recent years, ripening for bigger crime waves. Thanks for the post…God help NYC!

    1. I remember he ran 0% in the polls out in Iowa. Even Democrats didn’t want him. That he ever became mayor of NYC doesn’t say much for the other candidates. Who was he running against–Jack the Ripper?

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