Australia ‘Health’ Honcho: ‘No Talking!’

Dr Kerry Chant 'strongly' recommends mask wearing in this critical phase -  2GB

You there–quiet! No talking in line! No talking at home! Shut up!

(Thanks to Phoebe for the nooze tip)

We have every right to be sick and tired of lockdowns in America; but by comparison to what they’re doing in Australia, we ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

Australia is pursuing the goal of “zero COVID,” which may well be impossible. They lift their lockdowns and then slam them back down if anyone gets sick.

And now they want people to… stop talking! (https://www.theblaze.com/news/australian-health-officer-do-not-talk-to-each-other) ‘Cause talking, of course, might spread COVID germs.

Sez Kerry Chant, chief health officer for New South Wales, “Now is the time for minimizing your interactions with others.” No talking! You there–did I catch you talking? Did I catch you interacting with whatsisname in the red baseball cap? DAMN YOU, I SAID “SILENCE!!!”

They’re going to destroy our lives in order to save them. Does anybody really want to live this way? Like, you can go on living as long as you stop doing all those things that constitute living.

You can be sure Ms. Chant is having the time of her life, though. Count on it. Crushin’ the plebs–it doesn’t get any better than that.

Door to Door… for Vaccination?

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Unspecified “volunteers” will be “literally knocking on doors” to get people vaccinated for King COVID, according to the man who claims to be our president (https://www.usnews.com/news/health-news/articles/2021-07-06/biden-federal-covid-19-vaccination-effort-will-go-door-to-door-to-get-people-shots).

Who are these people who’ll be knocking on our doors? We don’t know, do we? Someone “from the government”? Criminals looking for likely houses to rob? Left-wing fanatics who’ll harass us? Assorted “volunteers” from “community groups” we never heard of?

The potential for abuse is toweringly high.

And there will be doors that you’d be well-advised to leave alone, if you knew who’d answer your knock.

Why are we treating this as the most deadly and scariest disease in history, fully justifying all kinds of draconian measures? I mean, gee, we practically shut down our economy last year! Both the government and the nooze media did their level best to scare the schiff out of us.

What is the explanation for this, and why have we never heard it?

But going door to door… this might be the worst idea they’ve had yet.

The Safest Vacation Ever!

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Were you just in the middle of packing for a vacation when you heard about the next COVID variant to come along and so we’d better just stay home and have another lockdown and obey all government mandates otherwise we’re all gonna die? Were you dying for a vacation, only to have this happen?

Well, until The Smartest People In The World can give us a germ-free environment, we’re going to have to do vacations differently. The paramount consideration in any vacation plan must be… safety! ‘Cause you never know just what kind of deadly germ might be laying for you on that mini-golf course, or waiting to descend on you as you sit down to eat at your favorite restaurant.

We at La Mumba Travel Agency understand your problem, we feel your pain! You need a vacation, but you need it to be a safe vacation. And that’s where we come in!

Now, thanks to our all-new Guranteed Safe Vacation Plan, you can visit your own linen closet and stay as long as you like! What could be safer than that? For a mere $500 per person, we’ll make all the arrangements. We’ll even tell you how to take out a few of the shelves so you can be more comfortable in there. No crowds, no need for social distancing–once you close the door, you won’t even need to wear your mask!

Satisfied customers are already dancing in the streets over this.

“For me it always used to be a cabin in the mountains, right on the lake. Who knew a stint in my own linen closet would be even better? And $75 cheaper, to boot!”

“The Jersey shore? Crawling with germs! But there’s no place safer than your linen closet!”

Names withheld to protect customers from new COVID variants.

Hooray, We’re Not Confused Anymore!

The Pushmi-Pullyu Struggle - Sue Rosen

Remember Dr. Doolittle, and the Pushmi-Pullyu–that two-headed animal that always tried to go north and south at the same time?

Well, we thought that was impossible, didn’t we? But someone at the Make a Wish Foundation must’ve made a big, tall, wish–because the Pushmi-Pullyu has had a son, and Make a Wish has got him!

The creature’s name is Yadoo-Yadont, named for Make a Wish’s policy of granting and not granting wishes to terminally ill children who have not been vaccinated for COVID 19. You do have to be vaccinated to receive a wish, but also you don’t! You do have a choice, but you don’t! What could be clearer than that?

Now we understand their position perfectly: you do and you don’t. Yadoo-Yadont, the son of Pushmi-Pullyu. Mind you, someone’s gonna get a Nobel Prize for this. I nominate whoever thought of this and didn’t think of it at the same time.

We Wish ‘Make-a-Wish’ Would Clarify Its Position

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First we heard the Make a Wish Foundation wouldn’t grant any wishes to terminally ill children unless the child and his or her whole family had been vaccinated against King COVID. (And we thought Scrooge was flinty-hearted!)

Yesterday they changed their tune: “We respect everyone’s freedom of choice… Make a Wish will not require anyone to get vaccinated to receive a wish,” said the foundation’s CEO on Sunday (https://www.newsweek.com/make-wish-flip-flops-wont-require-terminally-ill-kids-vaccinated-1604561).

But! he also said, “All wish participants, including your wish kid and any siblings, will need to be two weeks past completion of either a one-dose or a two-dose vaccine.”

Does that sound like an order to march in two different directions?

The government can’t force you to take an experimental drug without your informed consent–so they’re relying on the private sector to do it for them. They think you’ll decide it’s a lot easier to let them shoot you up with whatever rather than to embark upon a lawsuit that might take years to decide. And so we wind up with two tiers of citizenship, the vaccinated and the unvaccinated.

And leftids get the kind of America they’ve always dreamed of.

As of now, we can’t tell where Make a Wish stands. Their CEO is definitely speaking with a forked tongue.

 

The Humanist Burqa

UK Face Masks: This Is Why Britain's Attitude Is Changing Fast

The face mask Mandate–mandates are so much more fun than legislation, aren’t they?–has been lifted, here in New Jersey; but when I went grocery-shopping this morning, I saw most of the people in the store still wearing them. And by now we all know there are lots of folks out there saying they’ll never stop wearing them.

Do they enjoy it that much? No. Tinhorn tyrants and a shoddy and dishonest nooze media have scared them silly. And they’re still scared.

Women in radical Muslim nations are compelled to cover themselves so thoroughly that you can only see their eyes. Their garment is called a burqa.

The face masks adopted by the Western world are the humanist version of the burqa. “Give us absolute power over every aspect of your lives, obey us without asking questions… and we’ll make sure you never get sick!”

There’s no longer any actual need for the face masks–if there ever was one–the CDC says we don’t need them anymore (until the next Big Germ crops up)… and yet people are still wearing them, even outdoors.

We passed a school on the way to the store. A bunch of kids were sitting outside on the grass, engaged in some activity or other. All of them were maskless–except one.

What was the point of this little boy continuing to wear the mask, when no one else was wearing one? I think it was because his parents are still scared. Too much TV, too much Dr. Fauci. And maybe a bit of left-wing virtue signalling.

They have truly done a number on us; and it remains to be seen what, if anything, we’ve learned from it.

Open the Cage and No One Flies Out

Containing the coronavirus: What's the risk to the global economy? | Penn  Today

Yesterday was supposedly the end of our Mask Mandate here in New Jersey. Free, free, free at last!

So we went to the grocery store. There were a lot of people shopping, and I was the only one not wearing a mask. My wife, waiting in the parking lot, said she must’ve seen at least 50 people go into the store and not one of them (except me) wasn’t wearing a mask.

Got the sheeple trained real good, don’t they?

I mean, could we back off a couple steps and just take a look at this? First the experts call the face masks useless, then we’ve got a mandate and they’d like us to wear two at once. First the whole idea that King COVID escaped from the Chicoms’ mad scientist lab in Wuhan was only a krazy konspiracy theory. Now it’s something that has to be “investigated.” By a “president” whose whole family is in the Chicoms’ pocket! Can you say “towering gigantic conflict of interest”?

They’ve been playing games with us from Day One of this COVID mess, changing definitions of their terms from week to week, telling lies and tall tales, scaring us…

So now when they open the cage they’ve built for us, no one flies out.

They’ve really done a number on us.

My Newswithviews Column, May 20 (‘Cuomo’s Leadership Lessons’)

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Born without the capacity to feel shame

You almost have to admire Andrew Cuomo’s gall. He kills off thousands of nursing home patients, has an army of women claiming that he sexually harassed them–and still he comes out with a book telling other people what to do and how to do it.

Almost, but not quite.

Cuomo’s ‘Leadership Lessons’

Andrew’s father, Gov. Mario Cuomo, invented the all-purpose Democrat hypocrisy: “I’m personally opposed to abortion ” [like anyone should care!] “but as a public official, I’ll push it and promote it and support it!”

And we put people like this in positions of authority. You’ve got to wonder whart’s wrong with American voters.

Cuomo Cashes In (Major Barf Alert)

Cuomo Denies Alleged Nursing-Home Death Cover-up

Who says crime doesn’t pay?

Wow. When he’s not busy massacring nursing home patients, or sexually harassing aides, New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo is a… writer! Thus adding more proof to Rocky Bridges’ assertion that there are three things everyone in the world thinks he can do–run a hotel, write a book, manage a baseball team.

Yes, the Far Left hack will be getting $5.1 million for his new book, American Crisis: Leadership Lessons from the COVID-19 Pandemic (https://www.reuters.com/world/us/new-york-governor-cuomos-covid-book-deal-was-worth-than-5-million-2021-05-18/). Catchy title, eh? Wish I’d thought of it! I mean, as long as we’re both writing fantasies…

Cuomo’s leadership. Crime rate shooting up to the ceiling, because he let the bad guys out of prison. 24/7 race hustling. People fleeing New York in droves. With leadership like that, who needs enemies?

By all means, let’s lavishly reward incompetent villains. Few of them get the opportunity to be as lethal as Cuomo, but they do try to be as bad as they can be.

Oh, Holy Cow! Free Vax at… Dracula’s Castle

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No, this is not a satire. It’s apparently true.

The Rumanian government, trying to get a hesitant population to embrace experimental COVID shots, is giving the shots at a popular tourist site–Dracula’s Castle (https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-57049639). Yes, the castle that’s really supposed to have belonged to Dracula.

And the good little sheeple who show up–you won’t believe this–will be rewarded with a free tour of the castle’s torture chamber!

(“He’s really flipped his lid, this time. Who in the world would believe that?”)

Look, if it turns out to be a hoax, blame the BBC, not me–they’re the ones who reported it.

But this is just ridiculous enough to be real. It’s the kind of thing we’ve come to expect from governments, these days.