Quokka U. Progress Report: 2 More Celebrities Aboard!

Quokkas Are So Cute People Can't Believe They're Real - UNILAD

I can’t believe I forgot to tell you this yesterday. We’ve lined up two more fantastic celebrities as guest lecturers for the opening semester at Quokka University!

No, that’s not them up there in the pictures. It’s just me, Byron the Quokka, posing for the university yearbook.

Who are these fantastic celebrities, you ask? I hope you’re sitting down!

Celebrity No. 1 is none other than Bruno Pong, the Official World Champion of Underwater Chess! How we ever got him, I don’t know. Underwater chess is hard because the pieces keep floating up from the board, it takes an incredible amount of skill just to get a game started. And the fish are always trying to eat them. Plus you’ve got to hold your breath!

As for Celebrity No. 2, hang onto your hats! I don’t know a quokka who hasn’t read Mrs. Kate Rochemotel’s immortal novel of romance, drama, and corruption in the world of pick-up sticks–I mean, this is, like, the War and Peace of pick-up sticks! I guess that’s why its title is The War and Peace of Pick-up Sticks. I love the audiobook version read by that British actor who screams the whole thing at the top of his lungs. I’m sure Mrs. Rochemotel will have some cool stories about him!

We can hardly wait for the semester to get started. Ipso loquitur mannimota!

4 comments on “Quokka U. Progress Report: 2 More Celebrities Aboard!

    1. Round us up some celebrities, Byron says. He wants to know if you know Basil Flunk, the man who invented the no-stick band-aid.

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