There are, like, 150 nooze stories confronting me today, each of them chattering a demand to be covered. Which ones do I write about?
What about these items, for instance:
*Joe Biden picks himself as his running mate and calls it “two for the price of one–or one for the price of two.”
*After declaring all the statutes null and void because of systemic racism, the state of New York reports an official crime rate of zero percent.
*A new study shows that eating books is good for you.
*The governor of Michigan has accidentally mandated herself to death.
*Matzi Bustoff’s “Silent Symphony,” in which no musical instruments are played, opens to a packed house at Lincoln Center. It receives silent applause.
I dunno… I just can’t choose.