I am wearing my Halloween T-shirt today, the one that says “This Is My Halloween Costume!” And we’re equipped with Reese’s Cups in case any trick-or-treaters show up, although I don’t expect them to. And maybe this afternoon we’ll watch The Mummy (the real one, with Boris Karloff) or some other horror classic.
Why do this? Why try to have fun on Halloween?
Oh, I don’t know! To take our minds off the real monsters who are coming after us in this election? The Mummy always gets smacked down at the end of every Mummy movie; but just try getting rid of Chuck Schumer. And speaking of the Mummy, have you seen Joe Biden lately?
I have happy memories of Halloween. When I was four or five years old my parents got me a Donald Duck costume and took me trick-or-treating. I was convinced I looked exactly like Donald Duck! And we still have photos of my sister, Alice, in her cowboy costume.
What was so bad about that?
And every Halloween my father would take us for a drive around downtown New Brunswick, where they had an annual contest of painting Halloween scenes on the shop windows.
But our whole culture has been massively corrupted since then, and Halloween has not escaped unscathed. It’s like those new, modern horror movies that lay claim to sophistication because there’s a lot of cruelty and everybody gets killed. Blah-blah.
Well, here at Chez Leester, we’re going to have what fun we can, and for a few hours try to ignore the real monsters who want to eat our country. We had to special-order my Scary Shapes Mallowcremes, couldn’t find ’em in the stores–and just for a very little while, pretend the monsters will be gone next morning.