Oscar-Winning Possum

“And now, the winner of an Academy Award for best portrayal of a dead opossum, would you please welcome… a live possum!” [Near-hysterical applause]

I mean, did these dogs get hosed or what?

But they mustn’t feel too bad about it. One morning I found a dead possum at the bottom of my garbage can. Oh, spiffy. Looked like he’d been dead for several days. Heck, he was stiff! For lack of anything better to do, I tipped the garbage can over and let it lie there while I went in search of a shovel. I got back just in time to see the possum marching out of the garbage can. He saw me, too, looked up at me and showed his teeth. You’re welcome, I’m sure.

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