‘Decarbonize Our Ships!’

They’re talkin’ about affixing these huge sails to our cargo vessels, so the wind can drag ’em across the ocean and they can save on fuel and Save The Planet.

But that doesn’t go far enough, does it? Like, the wind won’t always be blowing.

Ah! As a Roman poet once said, “When the wind ain’t blowin’, the galley slaves are rowin’.”

What more suitable punishment for misgendering, or failure to recycle, or making fun of Ilhan Omar than being made a galley slave? And the more people we make slaves, the more we Save The Planet!!! What could be easier?

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