‘Save the Planet by Laundering Your Toilet Paper’ (2016)

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Use it again and again!

Now that we’re going to be put under house arrest every time a germ pops up in the environment, we’re going to be strapped for things to do. But as always, government has the answer!

Save the Planet by Laundering Your Toilet Paper

Go ahead, tell me it’s just not possible that even the most off-the-wall Democrat regime would ever afflict the American people with a crazy thing like this.

Nothing is off the table, with this crowd.

Food for Us Peasants

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[Warning! The information contained in this article may upset your stomach and lead to real discomfort.]

Listen up, you deplorables!

Your betters are gonna Save The Planet whether you like it or not, so you’d better learn to like it. And one of the things they mean to do is to replace real butter, which comes from cows, with this goo that comes from… well, maggots (https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2020/feb/28/larva-fat-sustainable-alternative-butter-cakes).

How dare you be grossed out? This is scientific! C’mon, now–what could be more appetizing than “black soldier fly larvae”? And you thought toothpaste sandwich cookies were horrible! Schiff, man–it’s “more sustainable”! If that doesn’t perk up your appetite, what will?

Now, don’t go expecting John Kerry or Barack Obama or Michael Bloomberg or Bernie Sanders to sit down to a nice stack of pancakes with maggot butter (and don’t even try to guess what they want us to use in lieu of maple syrup). This soldier fly goop is for us, not them. It won’t be on the menu at Davos, so don’t get your private jets in a twist, trying to get there before the fly butter is all gone.

We need to save the planet from the idiots who anoint themselves to Save The Planet.

The Progresive Paradice

Ha, ha, that stopid guy went out to rid his bike, so i got his blogg.

My prefesser he gave a grate lexture yestreday abuot how grate everthing wil be wen the hole world is run by interllecturals like us and they is only one goverrmint and it is al progresive!

Nobody wont have to do no work exept maybbe christins if there is any of thim left, their wont be many becose then everboddy will kno there is no God. My prefesser he sayed we has to set all them ordrinary dum peple free from there stopid religgus beleafs. Then there wont be no work anyboddy got to do exept unless yiu goin to rite musicle sympathies or paint grate works of art or rite poitry.

Som idjit he asked How yuo gonna pay for all this without nobody workin? and so we beet him up. But my prefesser he ansored anyhow, he sayed Thats “easy we jist make The Rich pay for it all!

And aslo we got to Save the Planet, so ther wont be no more cars and no more Air conditoning for ordrinary peple they dont nede it anyway, just for us interllecturals becuse we got to kepe our Branes cool and comfritable.

Ther wont be no God and ther wont be no work and thar wont be no cars and no Air conditon, but supprise, hear’s the good news!!! ther wil be Free Collidge for All! No tution, just go! It be freee for everboddy but them christins becose they arent no good for nothin; And this wil be yuor chanst to get yur owne degre in Gender Studies jist like im getting.

Rembember to vote for Hillery, she wil get this all started up!!