G’day–or not! Byron the Quokka here with last weekend’s TV listings. My humans are sick and there’s no one to help me but this girl quokka named Bluecy who has a crush on Don Knotts and, well, you know how that goes…
So here’s a sample of awe-inspiring TV, courtesy of Quokka University:
7:30 P.M. Ch. 06 AT HOME WITH THE BLOB–Sitcom/Drama
What if The Blob had married Barbara Billingsley and settled down in a nice suburban neighborhood, and had a lot of little Blobs, and only occasionally succumbed to the desire to engulf the postman? Steve McQueen must’ve been crazy, to turn down this role! Voice of the Blob: Jack Benny. Terrified neighbor: Dick Butkus.
Ch. 11 JEFFY THE GIANT–Gritty Urban Drama
When he discovers he can’t go scuba-diving in the tiny little frog pond in his neighborhood without his butt sticking up above the water, private investigator Jeffy Honker (Simon Oakland) suddenly realizes he and his neighbors, their houses and cars, and everything else–except for this pond–has been mysteriously blown up to titanic size. Can he track down the man who holds the key to the mystery–the man with the backward coccyx? Special guest star: Jimmy Durante.
7:44 P.M. Ch. 76 ANT FARM NEWS–News for insects
Join host Ed McMahon as he pitches the day’s news to ant farm and terrarium residents all over the country–anything with six legs or more! This was the project Ed was working on when they came to take him away.
8 P.M. Ch. 14 QUICKSAND!–Game Show
Right in front of you, so close that you can almost touch them, are glittering prizes beyond the dreams of avarice; but between them and you lies… quicksand! Will any of the contestants make it across without getting sucked down? Says Emcee Alan Hale Jr., “If you can grab it, you can keep it!” Featuring the June Taylor Dancers and the Los Angeles County Pathology Dept.
Ch. 38 MOVIE–Historical Melodrama with Pinatas
In “Count Smorga the Ghoul” (Korean/Dutch, 1971), Danny Kaye stars as The Other Count Smorga, persistent boyfriend of the Queen of Sweden (Spring Byington), frustrated by everybody’s taking him for that evil Count Smorga who hides himself in a forest of pinatas. This marked the film debut of pro wrestler Gorilla Monsoon, who also directed. Dancing master: BoBo Brazil.
Well, folks, there you have it! It’s been cold and dark and rainy all week here, and we need nice TV to tide us over. Enjoy!