“Are you a genius?” asks Ms. Violet Crepuscular, the Queen of Suspense. Don’t ask her what’s happened to the plot of her epic romance, Oy, Rodney. You’d have to be a genius to figure that out.
And so Chapter CDLXXXXVII of this tremendous book casts itself loose from the plot and presents the reader with a quiz. “This,” proclaims Ms. Crepuscular, “is where the rubber meets the road! This is the ultimate trip of self-discovery.”
Simply answer the questions below. If you answer them all correctly, you are a genius. If you get any wrong, you earn the rank of Stunata. “We’ll soon know which is which!” exults the author.
Ready? Here we go.
1. Who was mayor of New York City when Lady Margo Cargo lost her glass eye?
2. Why are there Easter Island heads in Scurveyshire? (“Thought I’d forget about those, didn’t you!” snickers Ms. Crepuscular.)
3. In what capacity did Walt Dropo serve the Japanese government during the Victorian Era?
4. What English playwright wrote in the same rural dialect spoken by Constable Chumley, with the same result?
5. What is the sound of one flipper flapping?
“The clever reader will quickly amorphosize these questions,” claims Ms. Crepuscular. “We need clever people to rule the world.”
(Please don’t tell me she’s going to run for president…)
In the penultimate paragraph, is “Mr.” a typo or has Violet undergone a gender re-identification? 🙂
Oh, no! I’d better go fix that right away–before some Democrat drafts her.
Repair accomplished.
Thanks for the heads-up, Phoebe. I tell you, my whole life flashed before my eyes when I realized what I’d done. This could’ve had very serious ramblefacations.
Even if I knew the answers to any of those questions, I would never admit it. 🙂