Can We Have Our Plot Back? (‘Oy, Rodney’)

Ask Sister Mary Martha

Author Violet Crepuscular has been busy grading the Oy, Rodney Genius Quiz. Actually, not that busy–only four people, world-wide, bothered to take it. And none of them passed.

“This makes me lachrymose,” she complains. “It will be all I can do to introduce Chapter CDLXXXXVIII of my epic romance, Oy, Rodney!”

The reader will remember (or not) that Lord Jeremy, under duress applied by Constable Chumley’s mother, Sir Lanthelot the Lithping Knight–bear in mind that the woman is somewhat tetched–has discovered a landscape riddled with Easter Island heads. Like these. Just like these.

Easter Island statues: One mystery solved by researchers | CNN Travel

You’d think any author would jump right in and set about explaining what those heads were doing there–but not the Queen of Suspense. She introduces Chapter CDLXXXXVIII with a recipe for prawns in toothpaste sauce, followed by this:

“Can Lady Margo Cargo be true to Lord Jeremy Coldsore and still love the American adventurer, Willis Twombley–when she is not aware that they are two different people. Three, if you count Twombley’s conviction that he is Sargon of Akkad. This is phloxidation with a vengeance!” Feel free to skip the rest if you know what that means.

If not, please sign my petition to Ms. Crepuscular demanding an explanation of the Easter Island heads. (Yes, I know she’ll say “My readers are revolting!”) We must take a firm line here, or she’ll end up subjecting us to chess puns (“Prawn to King-4!”).

4 comments on “Can We Have Our Plot Back? (‘Oy, Rodney’)

  1. Never mind the Easter Island heads. I want to know about the rescue of Constable Chumley from the cliff. And what’s the latest on the vicar’s wading pool?

    1. Chumley landed on a trampoline and bounced back up onto the cliff (a likely story). He then climbed back down and arrested Whatsisname.

      Thanks for reminded me about the wading pool. It’s one of those threads that Ms. Crepuscular has left hanging. I’ll have to get her back on track.

    2. Oh, right — I’d forgotten about the trampoline. It’s hard to keep track of everything. (Blush.) Well, at least he didn’t land in the vicar’s wading pool. I think we’re going to need a separate volume to guide the reader through the plot lines and the characters.

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