Chaos at Coldsore Hall! (‘Oy, Rodney’)

a gripping page-turner headed for the top of the NY Times bestseller list | Romance novels, Funny romance, Book parody

In Chapter DXVIII of her epic romance, Oy, Rodney, Violet Crepuscular, the Queen of Suspense, told us how Lord Jeremy Coldsore, locked out of his ancestral hall by roistering servants who think it’s still the 18th century, fell off his perch and was gored and trampled by a rhinoceros. All 213 bones in his body were broken. “That will teach him to try and evolve wings,” writes Ms. Crepuscular.

A week later he’s up and around. The American adventurer, Willis Twombley, who thinks he’s Sargon of Akkad, has used his six-gun to re-instill decorum in those wild and crazy servants. “Jist leave it to me, Germy,” quoth Willis. He needs to shoot only two of the servants before the others get the message.

This is all told in Chapter DXX. Chapter DXIX is too puerile and improbable to be reproduced here. Even Violet thinks so. “I have written a chapter too puerile and improbable to be reproduced here,” she writes. Send her a check for $3.98 and she’ll send you a summary of the chapter.

Meanwhile the rhinoceros, having laid several clutches of eggs, is now preparing to spin a cocoon in which to spend the winter. It will be a rather large cocoon.

 

3 comments on “Chaos at Coldsore Hall! (‘Oy, Rodney’)

  1. Has Violet hinted at what the rhinoceros will be when it emerges from the cocoon? If it has moth antennas, will Joe Collidge embrace it as a sibling?

    I won’t even speculate about how Scurveyshire will cope with all the baby rhinoceri that emerge from those eggs.

    This novel just keeps getting better and better — or, at least, somethinger and somethinger. 🙂

  2. Violet Crepuscular, the Queen of Gimmicks. She reminds me of those offers on the Internet for health products where you go to buy one item and another, then another shows up trying to entice you to buy their other products. Selling a recap of her missing chapter is unconscionable.

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