G’day, g’day, calloo, callay! Byron the Quokka here, with weekend TV guaranteed to blow your socks off! Here’s a small sample:
5 P.M. Ch. 06 ROLLER DERBY NEWS–Waddaya think? News + roller derby
You want to be informed, so you watch the news. You want to relax and enjoy life, so you watch roller derby. This show lets you do both at once! Today: Strategic Arms Limitation Talks; and the Oklahoma City Manglers take on the Maine Coon Cats. Anchor: Randomly selected from the audience.
Ch. 11 Movie–Science fiction with stock footage
In “Here Come Those Dagnabbed Mammoths Again!” (Bolivian, 1967), rampaging woolly mammoths flatten the same Indian village every time the poor sods rebuild it. Is the solution to be found in Elmer’s Glue? Sylvia Porter: Raquel Welch. Louis Rukeyser: Mike Mazurki. Village people: The Village People.
5:30 P.M. Ch. 41 SQUANDER!–Game show
Contestants start out with $50,000 each and have only 20 minutes in Jim Bob’s Dept. Store in which to spend it. First to spend the whole $50K gets to keep the money; losers have to keep the things they bought–and pay for it! Host: Edgar Allan Poe. With Francisco Franco and his Orchestra.
Ch. 16 THERE GOES THE NEIGHBORHOOD–Comedy/drama
Rocky (Al Roker) and Debi (Linda Hunt) fight back when The June Taylor Dancers go mad and start stomping everybody’s front lawns. Sgt. Foozle: George Raft. Two gentlemen from Verona: two gentlemen from Keasby, NJ. Song: “I Can’t Get No Stupefaction.”
6 P.M. Ch. 76 FASTER, FASTER, WAGON-MASTER!–Western
This show was internationally condemned as a ham-fisted ripoff of Wagon Train when it came out in 1960; but since the 2020 discovery that Wagon-Master had been secretly produced by the Royal Shakespeare Company, now the critics like it. Tonight: Major Binky (Soupy Sales) has a revolt on his hands: people don’t want to pull their own wagons anymore. Mrs. Gesundheit: Dame Judith Anderson. The Gargoyle Twins: (don’t ask).
Well, that should do it for you! Certainly does it for me!
Byron the Quokka, signing off.
These are a hoot — and so is the picture of Byron! Actually, I’d kind of like to see the roller derby rampage through a meeting of the WEF.
And now I think I’ll go lie down with a book of puzzles and a warm cat and see how many seconds it’ll take me to fall asleep. 🙂