Next on Worry List: NYC Sinking into Oblivion

NYC is sinking under the weight of its buildings: geologists

As if things weren’t already bad enough, now some geologists warn us that New York City is slowly sinking into the earth at a rate of 1 or 2 millimeters per year ( Don’t sign any long-term leases.

Let’s see… hmm… Experts say New York’s buildings, over a million of ’em, weigh some 1.7 trillion pounds and that’s why they’re sinking. Some 8.4 million people will be increasingly at risk from flooding, hurricanes, and giant monsters stirred up by muclear tests. Yeah–they couldn’t tell the story without bringing in the whole Climate Change book of verses. It’s your fault, people! Trying to live like your betters–no way! Quick, confiscate the gas stoves and the air conditioners!

See? They can never just report a scientific finding. They’ve always got to add a lot of BS bells and whistles which makes the whole thing sound like ca-ca. Then they throw a tantrum ’cause we don’t believe them.

6 comments on “Next on Worry List: NYC Sinking into Oblivion

  1. The only thing that can be done to prevent this, President Bidoom must issue an executive order, all height challenged people (formally called morbidly obese or fat) on Long Island must go on a diet ASAP, or NYC truly is doomed! Wait, just hold on, maybe if NYC did sink into oblivion that might not be a calamity.

    Example of Height Challenged: If someone who was 5’ 2’’ and weighed 700 lbs., was nine foot tall, their weight would be just about right.

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