Collidge It ‘Is’ Nott “In’ Trubble!!!!!

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Enrolemint down?? Hah!!! Then waddaya caul This???

We keeep heering “that” Hyer Eddication “it is” in Deep Doo-Doo and it is goingto Fale and Go Broak and no boddy thay whil Be Smart enny moar!!!!!! What a big fat lye!!!!!!

Now thayr Tell”ing” us enrolemint It Is down-down-Down!!! That its Down by oavur A Millyin stodents!!!! since 2020 but that “was” a badd yeer and evin Pressadint Jobydin he cuddnt “Saive” it!!!!

Well thats jist Krazy!!!!!!! Look at waht weeve “got!”!” Ginder Studdies!!! Nothing Studdies!! Trans Studdies!!!! Evry “kyned” Of Studdy yiu can thinck Of!!! And tuns and tuns of Stoodints all oavur The plaice!!!!!! (I seen themb!!!)

But nevvir myned!!!!! Heer “at” The Stodint Soviet, we has thunk up a Sollucion!!!

GOVVERMINT IT MUST ACKT!!!!!!!! Govvermint shood maik A Man Date!!!!

No maor foooling arownd!! Collidge it Must Be maid Cumplossary!!! No moar stayin hoam!!!! Evvry parson In Amairca thay “Must!!!” Go To Collidge and “stay thare” till thay get “a” Deegree!!!!!! Becose Eddacasion it “Is” Our Moast Impotent Produck!!!!!!! And this whay Thare wil has to Be “Moar Collidge” not Lest!!!!!!!

Of coarse iff Evvry Boddy thay “go to” collidge thenn The cuountry it whil knead Moar Collidges, moar prefessers, More bill dings, moar Pentions, and a lott Of us we whil Becumb prefessers and Nott jist Stoodints enny moar!!!!

I amb reddy to Teech!!!!!!

7 comments on “Collidge It ‘Is’ Nott “In’ Trubble!!!!!

  1. What a brilliant idea, Joe! The gummint has been wasting its time making only K-12 mandatory and working on making pre-K mandatory as well. Why limit Man Dates (which sounds transphobic, but oh well) to the early end of the life cycle when the later part is so necessary for reinforcement of the brainwashing-I-mean-shaping of the subjects-I-mean-citizens? And another benefit will be that everyone will be delayed even longer from entering into subversive activities such as the work force, the construction of families, and every other kind of productive life. And just think — oops, sorry to use such a phallologocentric term! Just imagine: once everyone has been marshalled into the mandatory college program, graduate school can be made mandatory, too! That should add another 2-7 years of infantilization-I-mean-education to the population. Joe, you are a djeenious!

  2. I wonder how much longer it will be before employers start realizing that the college grads are coming out of school completely ill-prepared to accomplish anything.

    1. I’ve seen several articles around the net to the effect that “Enough is enough, we’re not going to hire these jokers anymore.”

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