Tag Archives: ridiculous college degrees

Student Loan Debt (Glug-Glub-Glug…)

See the source image

Cheaper just to burn it

Let’s hear it for Higher Education! Its cost has doubled over the past 20 years, while its benefits are– Uh, wait a minute, we’re still looking for the benefits.

According to a new report from Bloomberg News, America’s total student loan debt now stands at $1.46 trillion–a trillion is a thousand billions, for those of you in Common Core–and delinquent and defaulted debt in the fourth quarter of 2018 was $166 billion (https://www.bloombergquint.com/onweb/u-s-student-debt-in-serious-delinquency-tops-166-billion#gs.XWElv0e6).

Hoo-wee! Them’s mighty big numbers!

Worse, we find that college graduates can’t earn enough to pay their debt, so a lot of them have parents borrowing money to pay off their kids’ student loans. Yowch!

Maybe they should’ve thought of that before Junior decided to get a six-year degree in Intersectional Big-Ass Gender Studies. Gonna be awful hard to pay off that debt, sweepin’ the floor at the Seven-Eleven.

How bad does our education system have to get before people get wise to it? Do you realize that no one has dared calculate or even estimate the total annual cost of public education in America? Like, there might be a wave of suicides after that figure came out. Don’t even ask!

Are you absolutely, positively, carved-in-stone sure your offspring need to go to college?


The Birth of Civilization

See the source image

How did civilization start? Professors of Nothing Studies at Fimbo University think they know.

“Originally,” says department head Hugh Betcha, Ph. D., “all human beings were transgendered. That goes hand in glove with the highest levels of civilization, just as we see today. So it was that, 300 million years ago, the world’s first human civilization was populated entirely by the transgendered persons who had invented it.”

What is the evidence for this?

“Physical evidence has not survived,” says the professor, “but we can interpolate current socioeconomic trends and sort of ‘reverse-engineer’ our lost history. We also find non-physical evidence in the myths and legends of the Tasaday, the Stone Age tribe in the Philippines that has remained pure and untouched by the rest of the world for 50 million years.

“Finally, if you’re as smart as we are and you concentrate real, real hard, you will eventually intuit accurate visions of the great Transgender Age. All that ‘Male and Female’ stuff didn’t come along until much, much later–a mere 250 years ago! And it was invented by capitalists, so you know it’s bad.”

A bachelor’s degree in Nothing Studies from Fimbo University takes a mere 32 semesters to acquire, at an average cost of $30,000 per semester. “But don’t worry about the cost!” says Professor Betcha. “After all, you can always get a student loan!”


‘Oh, Boy! Earn a Degree in Social Justice’ (2016)

See the source image

Attention, college students! If it’s a little too much for you, trying to make sense of Feminist Geography, mosey on over to Eastern Kentucky University and try for a degree in Social Justice.

https://leeduigon.com/2016/09/09/oh-boy-earn-a-degree-in-social-justice/

We, the higher education experts of America, won’t stop until every drooling idiot in the Western Hemisphere has a bachelor’s degree in something! No matter how ridiculous, no matter how useless, no matter how non-productive.

‘Cause it sure ain’t non-productive for us, you schnooks!


As Rutgers Rots

See the source image

Rutgers, New Jersey’s state university–I went there! I’ve got a degree from that place–continues its decay as an educational institution, now offering a three-credit course in “Practicing Social Justice” (https://www.campusreform.org/?ID=11702).

Why has public money been spent to set up a Women’s and Gender Studies Department? What earthly good is that? It’s just like leaving a pile of rotting meat on the sidewalk to attract flies.

So the Women’s and Gender Studies Dept. will be offering this stupid course as part of its stupid degree program. The course will focus on “resistance strategies” and “nonviolent confrontational organizing.” It’s remarkable, how quickly “nonviolent” confrontations can turn violent.  The only thing that keeps these idiots out of the hospital is that normal people aren’t as nasty as they are.

Also available in the Women’s & Gender Shinola degree program is a course in “Marxist Literary Theory.” Can you imagine anything more useless?

The time has come to cut off all public funding to wastes of time and space like Rutgers University. It’s obscene and insulting, to be spending hard-earned tax dollars on inane, silly, and self-destructive nonsense like this.


Elfs thay Are Prooof That Evilutoin It is Reel!!!

See the source image

I wented to a lexture yeasterday And now i jist “dont” see how them stopid Haters “and” biggits thay refuzes “to” beleave Evilutoin it is truue!!!!!

We now has Prooof of Evillusion,, we evin has got viddio!! Stopid lee he putt one Of them viddios rihght Hear on “this” blogg and he still dont get it!!

For millians of yeers the Elfs thay was ownly Deckaracions but “now” thay Has Evolved!!! Yes, now thay has Evolved into Livving Things! The prefesser she was making “the” lexture she sayed “This hear it is Prooph that non-Life it Evolvs into Life jist al bye Itsselff and thare isnt no Sueper Natchrel stuff it jist hapens!!”” and then she sayed “Evry Thing it has got the Potentchile for Life iff it arent Alyve all reddy!!”

Wel we al standed Up “and” cheared becose now wee Know “that” Life it Creeates It’s Self and so we wil rite A Letter to Hillery askin her to shut down Al the Churtches for Evvalution Denile and beang Anty-Sciance!!! that is a crymb! it is Hate! and aslo now we “want” our Collidge to offer a Deegree Pogrom in Elf Studdies and aslo more free stuff to “al” Indervidurals of Dyvercity!!! and aslo Free Tution for evry stodent inclooding Elfs! Thare is No Reesin elfs shuld Not Go To Collidge tooo jist like peple!! I amb sure thay Can “learn” jist as mutch as we doo!!!


I has A new Majer!!

See the source image

I has been “Thinking” i has aught to Chainge my Majer becose Gender Studdies it is jist so hard!!! It is reel “hard” to rember al the Diffrint Genders that wasnt thare last weeek!

So i was reel hapy wen I founed out our Collidge it is offring a new Majer in Nothing Studdies!!! This is jist purfict!! It gots lots “of” coarses In it thay are fastinating!! i cant hardly “whait” to take Them!

Neckst semmestar i amb “goingto” sine Up for Beeyonsay Studdies jist like thay has “at” Ruttgers, and Whaching Car-Toons on TV, and Play Doh and Pickup Stix and Protesting Evry Thing, and aslo Callecting Ear Whax and Roling It Into “a” Big Ball!! I amb aslo Intrested in a coarse in Master Baiting,, i whunder waht It is!!!

The grate Thing abote it is,, yiu are Garinteed to “Get” yore deegree & al yiu has to doo is Pay “fore” it!!! How grate is that??? Ok, thare “is” one promble= my fambly thay has “kicked” me Out and i hasnt got “no” munny!!! But somb of the Stodents thay Are all-reddy Pan Handling and My Plan it is to Pan Handel offf themb!!!

I reely got to get my deegree Sune so i “can” be an Offisul And Bone Affied Introllectural!!!! becose us interllecturals we has got to Run the Contry!! Ordrinary dum peple thay “are” Jist two dum to do it whith-out Us!!


‘Higher Education’: A Model That Can’t Work

Image result for images of crowded college campus

I’ve been asking what the country is supposed to do, a few years down the road, with millions of unemployable college graduates saddled with unrepayable debt and ridiculous degrees in meaningless pseudo-subjects. In other words, with millions of people who will, in all probability, never be productive.

Why has college become so useless? Because today’s higher education system is predicated on a model of perpetual expansion. Hence absurd ideas like free universal tuition. Create more universities, expand the ones we already have, and pack in more and more students, add more and more teachers and administrators–complete with high salaries and lavish pensions–and pray the nation’s economy doesn’t implode as more and more people become non-productive. Like, what are you going to do with a degree in Feminist Surf-boarding besides teaching Feminist Surf-boarding to other poor saps? What are you going to produce? What can you possibly do but stay in college–somehow?

It’s madness to remove such a big chunk of the population from the productive sector: consumers with nothing to consume, except more “education”!

Oh, but that’s okay! Soon we’ll have robots doing all the work, with nothing left for human beings to do but fornicate and “learn” more drivel.

That’s the plan–and it stinks.

 

 


Now They’re Marching for… Hydroponic Cilantro?

Hey, you–America’s colleges and universities! Are you still here? Why? What good are you doing?

At the University of Texas, Austin, this week, “student activists” marched to demand hydroponic cilantro (https://www.wsj.com/articles/college-activists-march-on-the-cafeteria-what-do-we-want-hydroponic-cilantro-1504712705). “Wadda we want? Hydroponic cilantro! When do we wannit? Now!” In fact, these food protests are springing up on collidge campuses all across the country. At U Tex they had to hire a second college dietician because the first found herself “overwhelmed” by the sudden spate of new demands–by “feisty vegans” in particular.

Fun Fact! Over the past 30 years, college tuition, overall, has increased 400%!

As one student said, “If you’re not eating good things, how do they expect your brain to grow?”

Well, Sunshine, you’re a collidge student, so we actually expect your brain not to grow, but shrink.

Question for the colleges and universities!

What are we supposed to do with these millions of disgruntled “students,” once you’ve finished with them? They’re too spoiled and unreliable to be employed in any useful capacity, and much too disagreeable to serve as pets. They have degrees in ridiculous subjects like Gender Studies and Advanced Comic Book Studies and their brains have atrophied, thanks to you. What in the world are we supposed to do with them?

America’s colleges and universities are a millstone around her neck… and the water’s getting deeper.


%d bloggers like this: