‘Wacko Lefty Colleges Get Hit Where It Hurts’ (2017)

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Despite the financial beating they took in 2017, these two bastions of higher mis-education are still in business.

Wacko Lefty Colleges Get Hit Where It Hurts

Like the old high school football chant says, “Hit ’em again, hit ’em again, harder, harder!” We haven’t heard of any college or university that has actually been forced to close its doors. That’s only going to happen if the alumni stop writing checks and the rest of us somehow convince those snorts on Capitol Hill to stop pouring billions of dollars in tax money down the college drain.

It would also be extremely helpful if we stopped sending our kids there. I mean, how badly does anybody need a degree in Gender Studies?

Sanity Break: Quokka U. Progress Report

Quokka High Resolution Stock Photography and Images - Alamy

While Lee goes off to bang his head against the wall after a morning of studying the nooze, we’re creating a new department for Quokka University!

Byron the Quokka here, mates–and that’s Loueezee the Quokka looking back over her shoulder at the first little stirrings of our university’s Dept. of Made-Up Languages. We’ve been advised by the Global University Accreditation Board (GUAB–easy to remember! “Have you got your GUAB?”) that every accredited university or college must include in its curriculum a certain percentage of “studies” that are demonstrably useless. Otherwise, no GUAB certificate!

So we’re gonna offer a whole degree program in Made-Up Languages, most of them made up right there in the classroom. We are shooting for something even more useless than Superhero Studies. It’s gonna cost extra tuition, too!

Classes will be held in the bum-bum bushes immediately behind that old dead tree where Art Depreciation meets. There aren’t going to be any professors. It seems no one wants to be a professor of Made-Up Languages. You can usually talk Albert the Wallaby into anything, but even he didn’t want this. “Yer ammy befrond!” he said. He was either quoting Constable Chumley or saying something rude in a language that he just made up.

We have to create a few more departments before we can open for business; but I think we’ll have a pretty easy time getting our GUAB.

Kowabunga! ‘Fat Studies’!

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Who knew you could get a Ph.D. in this?

Here’s proof that no one can keep track of the vast cyclones of idiocy sweeping through our (ahem!) “higher education” system.

Did you know you can get a Ph.D. in Fat Studies? I didn’t know that. Why, it “builds on the tradition of gender studies and queer studies” (https://theconversation.com/explainer-what-is-fat-studies-63108). What could be more edifying? More illuminating?

Yessir, for just a couple hundred thousand dollars, you can become an accredited expert on Being Fat and What It Feels Like To Be Fat and How Mean Thin People Are.

How much more proof do you need that America has ten times more college/university than is good for us, and desperately needs to defund the whole shebang?

As for why anyone would ever shell out bucks for this–well, we really have done a job on our culture, haven’t we?

Go figure: they want you to “celebrate” and be “Proud” of fatness–and at the same time, the same people want to forbid you to have a large soda or a piece of cake.

Well, no one ever said liberals are sane.

‘This Is a Truly Stupid Idea: Free College’ (2016)

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Now that Doddering Joe has chosen his running mate, Whatsername, expect to see this inanity dragged out of the mothballs for another go-round.

https://leeduigon.com/?s=this+is+a+truly+stupid+idea%3A+free+college

What are we supposed to do with a couple million numbskulls with degrees in Gender Studies and Intersectional Political Ecology of Superheroes? And Democrats want to make more of them–lots more.

There is no room for doubt: their goal is to wreck the country.

So Who Gets Stuck with the $1.5 Trillion Tab?

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What’s missing from this picture?

Democrat presidential candidates say canceling a total of $1.5 trillion in college student debt will stimulate the economy (https://fortune.com/2019/11/29/student-debt-cancellation-plans-economy/). Instead of shelling out $500 a month to repay student loans, all these Stupid Studies grads are going to go out and buy homes and cars, etc.

So where does the $1.5 trillion go? Does it just disappear? Who’s going to wind up paying it?

Uh… you do! You and I and all the rest of the suckers who didn’t take out enormous loans to go to college.

Doesn’t sound too stimulating to me.

Wait a sec, I have a better idea.

Defund the colleges and looniversities. Stop pouring money into them–federal grants and tuition payments. Discard this preposterous idea that everybody has to go to freakin’ college.

If you really want to stimulate the economy, big-time, and save our culture while you’re at it, get the government out of the “education” business altogether. If we must have public education–really, must we?–return control of it to the local communities where it belongs.

Lib Profs Outnumber Conservatives, 12-1

Melissa Click, an assistant professor in the University of Missouri's communications, gestures during a run-in with student journalists on Nov. 9, 2015, at a campus protest that followed the resignations of the university system's president and the Columbia campus' chancellor in Columbia, Missouri. (Associated Press)

(Thanks to Susan for the nooze tip)

Okay, who’s surprised about this? A study shows that Far Left college professors outnumber conservatives, 12-1 (https://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2016/oct/6/liberal-professors-outnumber-conservatives-12-1/). The researchers surveyed 40 “leading universities” and found the faculty voter registration figures to be about 3,600 Democrat to only 300 Republican. It sounds like Thermopylae.

Why the huge disparity?

The researchers reasoned–rather shrewdly, I thought–that the main cause of this has been academic disciplines “branching out” into Silly Studies–women’s studies, gender studies, Everything Is Racist studies, and all the rest of it–that no conservative professor could ever bring himself to “teach.”

Job One for our colleges is to crank out more Far Left crazies. Job Two is to expand perpetually, so as to find jobs for as many of these chowderheads as possible. That a vast swath of them are totally unemployable even by colleges is of no concern.

Public schools, teachers’ unions, our grotesquely overgrown “higher education” system–kill these, and Far Left Crazy dies. In America, at least, what we laughingly call “education” is leftism’s life support system.

That alone is ample reason to defund it.

We Has got Super Herose!!!

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I jist fowned out Today that the Collidge “it” “is” “on” Sumer Vacasion!! Wy didnt noboddy Tell me??? No wunder my Class Roombs thay “are” emty Halff “the” time!!

A lott of the Stodents in Superheroe Studdies thay are “stilll” on Campas and i amb kinda jellice becose wen Thay gradurate thay wil reely “Be” Super Herose!!!! In facked “thay” are awlreddy Practising fore it,, thay are tryying On thare Cosstombs and runing aruond “all over” the Campas beeing Super Herose! That”s one “of” thare Prefessers up thare in The pixture!!!

In Nothing Studdies witch is My majer we are ownly lerning “how To” be nothings! That “is” wy I amb jellice!! I wish weed get Cosstombs tooo,, i wood lyke a Nothing Cosstomb!!!!!

I wood lyke to be the kinda Super Heroe whoo flys and locks up Evry Boddy whoo thay is Not “a” Socile Jutstice Worrier;: i wood lock themb Up “in” “a” Jale at the bottum “of The” ocian!!! i wood ware a red Cape whith a pixture of Chay “on” it!!! Butt i gotta saye Nothing Studdies it is moar Fun then Superheroe Studdies,, we whach Cartoons and maike “things” Out “of” Play–Doh!!!! And i am goood “at” It!!!!!!

Wye I dont Brusch my teeeth No Moar!!!

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The grate Thing abuot Collidge “is” we lern stuff we nevver knowed befour!!

Frinstints, yeasterday i lernt that Brusching yore Teeeth it is Racist!!! Evry Wyte Parson who brusches his Teeeth he “is” “a” Racist!! and aslo “it” is No Good for Peple Of Culler to brusch thare Teeeth ether becose “that” it Is Acting Wyte!!!

Yiu wood be supprized at “all themb” Things thatt turns Out “to Be” Racist!! i amb so Gladd i swiched my Majer to Nothing Studdies becose now i amb lerning all kinda things Thay “are” Racist and yiu woodnt nevver know “It” iff yiu didnt Goto Collidge!!!

Hear are “some Moar” Things that “are” aslo Racist that yiu probly didnt Know abote:;- Sun Screeen, shooe laces,, maiking yore Bed ((evin thuohgh i nevver do that anyhow), Drinking Millk, whaching cat viddios {i dont do that neether!! i alreddy knowed that it is Racist],, Bying Stuff at the Stoar, and aslo that orinj stuff “thay calll” it Tang or som Thing!! i amb so Greatfull to Nothing Studdies becose thay teached me that!!!

I cant hardly Whaite untill i Gradurate and then get a Mastres Deeegree and than a PhuD and than I can “be” “a” Prefesser of Nothing Studdies!!!

I love Nothing Studdies!!

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[Editor’s Note: Now I can’t post a picture. I could post a picture ten minutes ago. Now I can’t. If you don’t hear from me any more, it means my head has exploded.]

I amb so hapy i swiched my majer “to” Nothing Studdies it is grate!! and one of the Profesters he sayed the cool “thing abote Nothing Studdies is yiu woont nevver get no job so yiu Wil has to stay in Collidge four the “Rest” Of yore life”!! Wel that Is grate becose Work it blows and whoo whants Some stopid job anyhow?? it is mutch moare Impotant to maike Socile Jutstus than Work!!

To day in “class” frist we played whith Play Doe and then we roled “on” The flore and then we seen “a” Car Toon and then we hadded a De-bait whoo wood win In “a” fyhght beatwean Spyder Man and Acqua Man and we lernt Nothing at all!

I know wat al yiu Racist Biggits out thare yiu “aregoingto” say,, that “Joe Collidge he is a toetle waist of Spaice”! Wel you willl al be Laffing out “the” Other Syde of yore Faice when all us Interllecturals we come “out” and voat for Beato or Alexander Whatsername or (I hoap!!!!!) HILLARY!! and thay get to Be Pressadint,, yiu whil not think “That” is So Funny!!! Ha-Ha-Ha on yiu!

And now i has got to Go Studdy so i whil be Reddy for the Prestilential Electoin in Octoeber or wenevver it Is.

[Great–it lets me post that stupid picture of the eyes…]

 

I Has lernt A lot!!!

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I amb so hapy i chainged my Majer to Nothing Studdies! I been lerning A hole Lot “of” Interllectural Things hear at Collidge!! Hear “are” just a “few” “of” themb!!!

Ratoinal Thauhght it is Racist “and” yiu shuddnt do it No moar!!

“The” best weay to Start yore brabaqiue is “to” pore Gender Fluid on it! Ownly yiu shuddnt nevver eat No Meat yiu shuld ownly gryll Okrah or Collie Flower!!

Super Heeroes thay “are” reel!!

Donold Trumpt he is a Knotsy and he “stoled” “the” Elleckcion fromb Hillery!! him and The Russhins!

Famblies thay are Paytree Arcle and Seckxist and aslo no goood “and” thare shuddnt be No Famblies and we kneed fore Cangriss to maik themb “Aginst” The law!!!!!

Thare used “to” be Whorld Guvvermint but greeedie Captulists thay recked it and Invented al themb Countrees,, thay done it All sneeky-like wen No Boddy thay was looking and it was probbly the christins’s Fawlt!!! Wen thare was the Whorld Guvvermint evry Thing it was Perficked!!!!!!

Povverty it is coaused by Not enuohgh Gayze in charge “of” stufff!!!

Wett wood it burns “the” best!!!

And yiu know “waht is” the Grate Thing abote all this??? I reely knowed it all The time!!!! It is wunderfull “to” lern Things yiu allreddy know,, it hellps yiu pass “the” coarse!!!