G’day, buoys ‘n’ gulls! Byron the Quokka here, with TV that’ll make you swear you just added 50 points to your IQ! Don’t ask me what that means–just enjoy the samples below.
2:36 P.M. Ch. 62 JUNE TAYLOR DANCERS VS. SALAMANDER PEOPLE–(Philosophy comes to life, and then they kill it)
The peaceful little village of Newark, New Jersey, is attacked by the Salamander People. Army and police are powerless! So it’s up to the June Taylor Dancers to save the town. King of the Salamander People: Andy Devine. Governor: A harmless little dog.
2:45 P.M. Ch. 14 WORST TUNISIAN POETRY–Almost unbearable!
Join host T’an Pu-t’ing for a grueling examination of contemporary Tunisian poems about milkmen and large spiders. T’an doesn’t speak a word of the language, but no one can shut him up! Guests: Elizabeth Warren (she’s a Berber now), Misterrogers, and some AI-generated doofus.
3 P.M. Ch. 11 SPORTS OF SORTS–Safe sports
If you love the excitement of sports but can’t stand it when someone gets hurt, it makes you feel faint, then this show is for you! These sports pose no risk whatsoever! This week: Lion-hunting in Quebec. Reporter: Anderson Scooper. Teaser: Weight-lifting without weights
3:10 P.M. Ch. 46 MOVIE–Mystery
In Who Put the Overalls in Mrs. Murphy’s Chowder?, international chess legend Hyman Kaplan stars as criminal mastermind Professor Von Poop. The film is only 16 seconds long (Serbo-Armenian, 1986 B.C.), so don’t be late! Mrs. Murphy: Jane Air. Long-Winded Orator Whom No One Listens To: Some guy who’s on the Internet.
Well, the computer has started freezing on me, so I can’t post any more programs. Would you believe I’ve watched that Mrs. Murphy movie twelve times?
That’s my bike in the background! It’s been parked there, unclaimed, for at least 20 minutes… Byron the Quokka, signing off
I worked outside today and put in five hours in 76* weather. I am trying to build up my strength. I am so pooped and sore no TV for me tonight – dinner and bed to be in good shape for tomorrow’s church service.
Next time will be easier.