G’day, boys ‘n’ gulls! Byron the Quokka here, with more goodies from Quokka University TV. Grab yourselves some marshmallows and a nice place to sit!
6:49 P.M. Ch. 11 THOSE SLOBBS!–Sitcom
“The most disgusting family on the block” is back! Papa Slobb (the late Julius Seezer) and Junior (the not-so-late Hans Gesundheit) are arrested for the mess they made in the hardware store. Can Mama Slobb (Elva Pachyderm) bail them out? Guest star: Beto O’Rourke.
7 P.M. Ch. 06 WOILD NEWS WITH PATRICK HANDCHEESE–News (what else would you expect?)
The news that no one else would even think of covering! Patrick Handcheese learned a thing or two from spending 45 years in a North Korean prison camp. The shadows he can make on the wall, just using his hands, beggar description! Tonight: Special Report: “Watch the Grass Grow!”
Ch. 15 YOU CAN COOK BETTER THAN THIS GUY!–Cooking show
Shemp Shump is living proof that there’s always someone worse off than you–especially in the kitchen. How many viewers have said “Now I don’t feel so dumb!” Tonight: Shemp tackles a “Lamb Surprise” recipe handed down by some guy he met in an alley. Wait’ll you see why they call it “Surprise”! [Not recommended for a squeamish audience.]
7:03 P.M. Ch. 62 MOVIE–Unbearable suspense (We mean it!)
Rudolph Papertowel stars as legendary private eye Bing Kaching in All I Need Is an Alibi (Swiss/Indonesian, 1998: 345 minutes). Last time we showed this, five viewers went completely crackers and had to have months of counseling! Rare cameo appearance by Sondra McClopp–you won’t believe how scary this is.
Well, folks, whattaya think of that? Have we got movies or have we got movies!
I’m baby-sitting for my niece, Sylvia–see if you can guess which Sylvia she’s named after.
THOSE SLOBBS!–Sitcom – This sounds like a rip-off of “The Connors” TV show. WOILD NEWS WITH PATRICK HANDCHEESE–News (what else would you expect?) – No thanks, no one spends 45 years in a North Korean prison and lives to tell about it. It seems Hardcheese is appropriating culture. YOU CAN COOK BETTER THAN THIS GUY!–Cooking show – I am usually intimidated by cooking shows, but I don’t think I will be by this one. MOVIE–Unbearable suspense (We mean it!) – This cannot be as frightening of how fast toilet paper and paper napkins shelves emptied in our local Walmart because of the threat of a Dockers Strike.
That happened in the stores around here, too.