All right, here I go with a bit of nooze. I don’t want anyone saying I don’t do my job anymore.
As Global Warming causes temperatures to sink to record lows–yeah, that’s what they’re saying: the warming makes it colder, better raise taxes–gunmen in the Democrat Eden of Chicago have robbed at least eight people of their winter coats, leaving the victims to live or die as best they can in sub-zero weather (http://www.fox5ny.com/news/people-robbed-of-coats-at-gunpoint).
And get this: these robbers have good taste! They’ve been targeting “pricey Canada Goose jackets” which retail for $1,000 each and up. Must be because they’ve had deprived childhoods. Or racism. It’s always racism.
I’ll bet you just can’t wait for Democrats to take over your home town or city and make it just like Chicago, Detroit, Camden, San Francisco, or some other left-wing paradise. And don’t forget: Climbit Change is our fault!–for not coughing up a hefty carbon tax and not giving Big Government fantastic new powers to control our lives. So take that, deplorables! Remember–the warmer it gets, the colder it gets!
And remember this, too: only Government can control the weather. All-powerful Government equals nice weather all the time. We have their word on it.