Chicago: Robbed of Winter Coats at Gunpoint

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All right, here I go with a bit of nooze. I don’t want anyone saying I don’t do my job anymore.

As Global Warming causes temperatures to sink to record lows–yeah, that’s what they’re saying: the warming makes it colder, better raise taxes–gunmen in the Democrat Eden of Chicago have robbed at least eight people of their winter coats, leaving the victims to live or die as best they can in sub-zero weather (

And get this: these robbers have good taste! They’ve been targeting “pricey Canada Goose jackets” which retail for $1,000 each and up. Must be because they’ve had deprived childhoods. Or racism. It’s always racism.

I’ll bet you just can’t wait for Democrats to take over your home town or city and make it just like Chicago, Detroit, Camden, San Francisco, or some other left-wing paradise. And don’t forget: Climbit Change is our fault!–for not coughing up a hefty carbon tax and not giving Big Government fantastic new powers to control our lives. So take that, deplorables! Remember–the warmer it gets, the colder it gets!

And remember this, too: only Government can control the weather. All-powerful Government equals nice weather all the time. We have their word on it.


8 comments on “Chicago: Robbed of Winter Coats at Gunpoint

  1. I’ve read that during the Great Depression crime actually went down. Alexis de Tocqueville said America was great because of her Christian faith. Somewhere after the Depression years & WWII we ceased to be great as a people and now our society is lawless. Make America Great Again by going back to a Christian culture.

  2. Speaking to relatives in the Midwest earlier tonight, I was told of record low temperatures and wind chills which were frightening to hear about.

    1. I live in Western New York, Unknowable, and our wind chills are -35. It’s brutal! But some say climate change doesn’t exist. I’m here to tell you it most certainly does! Until a person has experienced that kind of cold, they can’t imagine just how horrible it is. It’s life threatening. Gotta love the government!

    2. Right!? I’m pretty sure the only one who has power over the weather is the Man upstairs.

    3. I’ve experienced such things firsthand and agree wholeheartedly. In more superstitious times, cold was believed to be a force, like a spirit which came into a room and removed warmth. No spirit needed, just some thermodynamics, but it sure can feel creepy. I hope it warms up soon.

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