“I identify as a woman–hear me roar!”
This week in the Olympics, a woman boxer got belted to kingdom come in her 46-second match against a man–well, some kind of tranny, I guess.
“We got away with it!” exulted Lord Fleming Hawhaw, chair “person” of The Real International Olympic Committee That No One Knows About. “So the world is going to see a lot more of this in the 2028 Olympics!”
That, he said, “is when the gloves come off! These women athletes think they’re so cool–well, wait’ll we force them to go up against real big men on steroids! And if we’re really feeling lucky, we’ll go right ahead with gladiatorial duels to the death, men against women. The crowds are gonna love it!”
Ultimately, he predicted, humans “who identify as dogs” will be allowed to compete in Kennel Club dog shows. “We are breaking down the barriers,” he said, “of what we used to call ‘reality’! From now on, there IS no reality! It’ll change from day to day, depending on how really important and powerful people feel like defining it.
“And that,” he added, “will put the plebs in their place for good!”