G’day, boys ‘n’ gulls! Byron the Quokka here, with this week’s fabulous TV, brought to you by Quokka University. Are you ready to be entertained? Enlightened? Enriched? Well, here we go!
6:05 a.m. Ch. 27 JIMBY & ZOOZIE–Sitcom (if you want to call it that)
What would life be like if your imaginary friend thought you were his imaginary friend? Confusing, isn’t it? Jimby: Buddy Ebsen. Zoozie: Linda Hunt. Third Party who thinks they’re all imaginary: Steve Reeves. This week: Zoozie finds Jimby’s lost shoelaces… Are they real?
6:30 p.m. Ch. 14 I.Q., MY Q.!–Incomprehensible game show
Join host Mogo the Monkey as he shows off his new prehensile tail! It’s even more fun when he tries to get any one of the contestants to define “prehensile,” let alone spell it. This week’s guest panel: Debating team from Porkbarrel High School, Seatopia, NJ.
Ch. 19 WIDE WORLD OF STUPID–Olympics that’s always on
Teams from Paraguay and Moldova are still locked in a draw, arguing whether a person who identifies as a French poodle really is a French poodle and therefor eligible to compete in dog shows. Also, heavyweight boxing medalist Yugi Banugi goes up against a six-year-old girl. Commentary: This guy who refuses to give his name.
7 p.m. Ch. 04 MOVIE–(A few locusts short of a swarm)
Dustin Hoffman stars as Hulk Hogan in Dog My Cats, I’ll Wrestle If I Want To! (Canadian-Klingon, 1976: 881 minutes), an independent film about the tao of professional wrestling. Gorilla Monsoon: Alan Ladd. The Fabulous Moolah: Joey Heatherton. Andre the Giant: Mickey Rooney. Plus lots of people you never heard of.
Well, my friends, how about that for a weekend’s wallow in high culture?
Byron the Quokka, signing off!