Now that the Senate has decided they can impeach someone who holds no public office–at least, as long as his name is Donald Trump–Democrats are already drooling over the next step in their fundamental transformation of America:
Impeaching the dead.
“Being dead does not give you a pass for incorrect behavior!” declared Sen. Chuck Schumer (D-Mordor). “George Washington’s rap sheet is as long as your arm! Ditto Jefferson, Jackson, Grant–the whole kit and kaboodle of ’em!”
The plan, Schumer said, is for every Republican president in American history to be posthumously impeached: “And the beauty of it,” he added, “is that their crimes are part of the historical record–no way they can defend themselves!”
Eventually, he said, Democrats will Save Our Democracy by making America a one-party state and outlawing the Republican Party altogether.
But how do you punish someone who died a hundred years ago?
“Oh, that’s easy!” chortled Schumer. They don’t call him Chortlin’ Chuck for nothing. “Completely destroy their reputations, and then erase them from the historical record, just like the ancient Egyptians used to do with unpopular pharaohs. It’ll be as if they never existed!”
“The Living Constitution lets us do anything we want!” exulted Squeaker of the House Nancy Pelosi. “We’re already drawing up impeachment articles on John Tyler–start with a president no one remembers or cares about, and working our way up to doing biggies.”