G’day, boys ‘n’ girls! Byron the Quokka here–and is this new year whizzing by, or what? January’s almost over, and it only just started! Better slow down and relax with some of Quokka University’s vintage television.
7:30 P.M. Ch. 15 THE FLOTSAMS–Sitcom
Mr. Flotsam (Antonino Rocca) finds his pet amoeba, Jingles (voice of Luciano Pavarotti), can’t sing loud enough to be heard. Mrs. Flotsam (Linda Hunt). The Lost Trucker (Name Not Known).
Ch. 41 NEWS & PRO WRESTLING–One’s more fake than another
How about you put the news anchor’s desk in the middle of a wrestling ring while a tag-team match is going on? Anchor Willie Makit perseveres while mayhem is committed on his desk and all around it by Tarzan Tyler and Johnny Rodz vs. The Mongols. Bonus Feature: Interview with renowned economics professor Steve Blass broken up by Hulk Hogan and Spaceman Frank Hickey.
8 P.M. Ch. 07 MOVIE–Crazy stunts with antique aeroplanes
In “Shoot My Coccyx” (Ethiopian, 2016: 398 minutes), World War I flying aces Billy Bollix (Sam Snead) and Herrmann Vermann (Andre the Giant) go all-out to shoot each other down–and heaven help anyone who gets in the way! Baron Einsweidrei (Kurt Jurgens). General LeFong (This guy from Hee Haw). Ground crew: The June Tasylor Dancers
Ch. 38 HAVE GUB, WILL TARVEL–Dyslexic Western
Beto O’Rourke (remember him?) stars as dyslexic gunslinger Adolphe Menjou, always in trouble because he can’t read or remember his instructions. Tonight: Adolphe mistakes his true love Kitty (Maggie Smith) for bad guy Black Bart Bartell (Tab Hunter) and shoots her dead–in front of 47 witnesses.Song: “Evening in Khartoum with Dervishes.”
Folks, that’s just a sample of the fabulous TV we’ve got lined up for you this weekend. I never miss an episode of The Flotsams!
Cousin Veezy has color TV–I hope he’s home today! Byron the Quokka, signing off.