Can the Senate Resurrect ‘Batgirl’?

Fight between a Ichthyosaurus and a Plesiosaurus dinosuars Fight between a Ichthyosaurus and a Plesiosaurus dinosaur  from an 1895 antique book "Moses and Geology" by The Rev Samuel Kinns. Loch Ness Monster Stock Photo

[Editor’s Note: I could find no more pictures of Elizabeth Warren done up as Pocahontas, although those pix were at one time quite easy to come by. Now, it’s like they never existed. So here are some nice sea monsters instead.

Of course, if one could answer the question above, it would lead immediately to the next question: Why bother?

Last year Warner Bros. put the kibosh on a $70 to $100 million movie project, Batgirl, scuttling it before it could be released (See “Another $70 Million Down the Drain,”, Aug. 3, 2022). This was a movie described by its maker’s own publicity department as “unspeakable.” I have to admit I’d be very curious to see a movie that the people who made it describe as unspeakable.

But now, in 2023, Pocahontas Warren and three other Democrat Senators demand to know why Batgirl was canceled (… in case the decision to abort this movie was just a tax dodge. Like, we were all cheated out of this cinematic masterpiece just so Warner Bros. could save some money on taxes after they already blew $70 million on Batgirl.

Pokey, why do you care? It’s not like we’re ever short of comic book movies. Would this be the first time anybody made a business decision because it’d mean paying less tax?

I am not able to substantiate a report that Sen. Warren and her colleagues are crafting a bill that would require a movie studio or a publisher to complete announced projects no matter how unspeakable they were turning out to be. “Once you commit to making a sequel to Gigli, you’ve got to go all the way with it no matter what it costs!” Warren has reportedly said.

What’re they gonna do if Warner Bros. has already destroyed all prints of Batgirl?

“We know this would have been Donald Trump’s doing!” Warren said. “And this time we’ll throw his a** in jail!”