Using Magic to Get Anything You Want

When I was a kid, there used to be an ad in The Inquirer for a magic helmet which would make all your wishes come true. Just send $19.95–a lot of money, back then, but what price omnipotence?

Well, I can’t find that helmet anymore, but the Internet is chock-full of helpful magical hints to get anything and everything your heart desires. This guy, for instance ( ) says he can teach you a magic spell that really, really works–says he, “Everytime I click there will be 1,000 pounds in my hands.” For the publicly schooled, he isn’t talking about a thousand pounds of chicken fat. He means a thousand pounds of English money.

We look down on Africans for believing in witch doctors–but somebody around here in the sophisticated Western world must believe in all this mumbo-jumbo, or you couldn’t spend all day going to wishing sites on the Internet. Heck, you can even buy guaranteed-to-work “wishing dust.” Here’s an ad for “Guardian Angel Wishing Dust” that draws on pseudo-Christianity to offer you three wishes ( ).

I guess nobody’s read “The Monkey’s Paw” lately.

How much tax money has been spent on the education of the untold millions of Americans who believe in this muck?

Think, think! Suppose 100 million people in America had wishing helmets that really worked. Don’t you think things might get a little bit confusing?

Go ahead, anybody’s welcome to try–explain how any of this hocus-pocus can possibly be true.

3 comments on “Using Magic to Get Anything You Want

  1. Well . . . actually . . . God did tell us to stay away from such things. Wizards, magicians, alchemists, diviners, Ouija boards – demoniacs.

  2. This is why I was never interested in reading Harry Potter books or watching the movies made from them. The three wishes motif reminds me of the joke about a man finding a bottle and a Genii appears and grants a wish. The man wished he could understand women. The Genii replied, “Ask for something I can actually deliver”

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