‘Witch Doctor: Have Spells, Will Travel’ (2015)

Image result for images of my friend the witch doctor

Remember how we all thought the blessings of technology would banish the fog of superstition?

That was a superstition, too.

It begins to look more and more like fancy high-tech gizmos and deeply benighted superstition can not only co-exist, but even feed off one another. Yo, hey, this is an important discovery! Like, the more “science” you pour into people’s lives, the more superstitious twaddle they believe. Nobody expected that.

https://leeduigon.com/2015/09/21/witch-doctor-for-hire-have-spells-will-travel/

And so we have witch doctors advertising their services on the social media…

Using Magic to Get Anything You Want

When I was a kid, there used to be an ad in The Inquirer for a magic helmet which would make all your wishes come true. Just send $19.95–a lot of money, back then, but what price omnipotence?

Well, I can’t find that helmet anymore, but the Internet is chock-full of helpful magical hints to get anything and everything your heart desires. This guy, for instance ( http://www.spellsofmagic.com/spells/luck_spells/misfortune_spells/11441/page.html ) says he can teach you a magic spell that really, really works–says he, “Everytime I click there will be 1,000 pounds in my hands.” For the publicly schooled, he isn’t talking about a thousand pounds of chicken fat. He means a thousand pounds of English money.

We look down on Africans for believing in witch doctors–but somebody around here in the sophisticated Western world must believe in all this mumbo-jumbo, or you couldn’t spend all day going to wishing sites on the Internet. Heck, you can even buy guaranteed-to-work “wishing dust.” Here’s an ad for “Guardian Angel Wishing Dust” that draws on pseudo-Christianity to offer you three wishes ( http://www.luckshop.com/guardian-angel-wishing-dust-2 ).

I guess nobody’s read “The Monkey’s Paw” lately.

How much tax money has been spent on the education of the untold millions of Americans who believe in this muck?

Think, think! Suppose 100 million people in America had wishing helmets that really worked. Don’t you think things might get a little bit confusing?

Go ahead, anybody’s welcome to try–explain how any of this hocus-pocus can possibly be true.

Witch-Doctor for Hire: Have Spells, Will Travel

Can you believe this headline? “African Muti murders–Hospitals sell body parts and murderers harvest organs from live victims for witch doctors in black magic spells” ( http://altereddimensions.net/2013/african-muti-medicine-murders-hospitals-sell-body-parts-murderers-harvest-organs-from-live-victims-witch-doctors-black-magic-spells ).

Right now you’re probably thinking, “He’s got it mixed up with Planned Parenthood.” Really–witch doctors, black magic? Is this a joke? Has someone been reading too many Tarzan books?

No joke–it’s real. Link to the article above, and scroll down. You will find ads from South African newspapers advertising the services of various witch doctors. I mean, these guys have phone numbers and fax machines and email addresses, witchcraft with all the state-of-the-art trappings.

I stumbled over this phenomenon when my wife read a detective novel, Deadly Harvest by Michael Stanley. The author’s name is a pseudonym for co-authors Michael Sears and Stanley Trollip, both of them born and bred in South Africa. Let’s see what they have to say in the Authors’ Note.

“Throughout sub-Saharan Africa, witch doctors hold influential positions in society. Most people believe in them and their powers to some extent. Even Western-trained scientists may carry a residue of belief…

“[T]here are a few witch doctors, regarded as very powerful, who use human body parts in their muti [magic]. They often choose a victim for a specific reason. If a male client wants to be virile, a witch doctor may kill a young boy and make muti from his sex organs to improve sexual energy… Even more horrific is that the power of the muti is thought to be enhanced if the body parts are removed while the victim is alive.”

Of course, like Geraldo Rivera says, that’s how we make progress in medical science.

Hey, all you multiculturalists out there! Is this the kind of thing you want to import into our “pluralistic” society, in which every notion, every custom,  every cultural practice, is equally valid and praiseworthy?

Muti murders happen. They happen because people believe in magic and want it to be used on their behalf. These murders are very hard to solve because there’s usually no connection between the killer and his victim, which makes it hard to pin down a motive.

Africa is full of people who believe in this stuff–people who are every bit as superstitious, as credulous, as any public school- and college-educated voter in America.