Most Fantastic Education Reform Ever!

Image result for images of too many phds

Inspired by New York State’s decision to provide free college tuition to anyone whose family makes less than $125,000 a year, an esteemed progressive think tank has come up with “an even better plan.”

Democrats for Universal, Nice College Education (DUNCE) is now proposing not just free tuition for four years, but a scheme to keep every student enrolled in college until he or she earns a Ph.D.

“Gov. Cuomo is, like, y’know, sooo right when he says that college is the new high school!” said DUNCE People’s Comrade Iza Waiste. “Why stop at a bachelor’s degree–huh? huh!–when you can go on to get a master’s, and then a Ph.D.?

“Can you dig it? Can you imagine it? The whole country, the whole 300 million people, all with Ph.D.’s! It just don’t get more educated than that! And it only takes, what, 15-20-25 years! That’s like no time at all! Even if it takes 30 years, so what, it’s worth it!

“And it’s universal free tuition that makes it all possible. Think of the expansion! Think of all the new professors that we’ll have to hire! Think of the pensions! We’re talking, oh, 60, 70, or even 80 million sitting in our college classrooms every day. Think of all the new degree programs we’ll come up with!”

Asked how many prospective employers would be interested in hiring a 35-year-old Ph.D. in Hispanic Gender Studies for an entry-level job, Comrade Waiste laughed and said, “A few multi-million-dollar civil rights lawsuits will solve that problem in a hurry!”

Asked how the work of the country would get done, with 80 million people tied up all day in college classrooms, Comrade Waiste made a rude noise and ran away.

About leeduigon

I have lived in Metuchen, NJ, all my life. I have been married to my wife Patricia since 1977. I am a former newspaper editor and reporter. I was also the owner-operator of my own small business for several years. I wrote various novels and short stories published during 1980s and 1990s. I am a long-time student of judo and Japanese swordsmanship (kenjutsu). I also play chess, basketball, and military and sports simulations. View all posts by leeduigon

5 responses to “Most Fantastic Education Reform Ever!

  • UnKnowable

    In my parents’ day, a high school diploma could take you far. My mother had an eighth grade education before she had to fend for herself, because of the Great Depression. Nonetheless, she ended up working as an accountant and, ironically, handled the accounting for s school district, where she was valued highly.

    If everyone had a Bachelor’s, then a Bachelor’s will lose most, if not all of its significance. Ditto for Master’s or a PHD. The thing is, experience trumps all. The last time I hired someone, I looked at all sorts of impressive educational qualifications, but hired someone with little education but lots of experience in a highly technical field. He’s still with me, very effective and is buying his first house. I’ve seen too many college educated IT people that had zero perspective and zero sense. Education without experience is not worth much.

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    • leeduigon

      But think of all the great experience you get, sitting in a classroom for decade after decade.

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      • UnKnowable

        Well, there’s something to that. Many of the tech classes I take in order to stay current in my job are identical to what I’d get at the University. The difference being that we cover one semester’s worth of material on one week, which is not necessarily a good approach.

        I have come to the conclusion that all of this stems back to Genesis 3:17 “cursed is the ground because of you;
        in pain you shall eat of it all the days of your life”.

        It’s hard to make a living. The colleges function as an employment source for self-important eggheads, although there are some good people stuck in the college system, but they too are stuck with the headaches of making a living.

        In a truly just world, any person’s work would be sufficient to support them. We could pursue learning in subjects based upon interest and not based only upon the income potential of the field.

        I would love to teach music and made a modest living doing so in the past, but I can’t live on the income that would generate. In world freed from the curse of Adam’s disobedience, I could share my knowledge of music and help young people to learn the things that interest them. Making a living might not me tied to music, but I wouldn’t care, because I wouldn’t have to struggle to make a living or work myself to the point of harm, which is the unfortunate fate of so many people that perform manual tasks in our day.

        It sounds utopian, but it’s not a utopia brought about by humans, it is an utopia brought about by God.

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  • Phoebe

    “Asked how the work of the country would get done, with 80 million people tied up all day in college classrooms, Comrade Waiste made a rude noise and ran away.”

    Actually, the work of the country would probably get done a lot better with all the unqualified freeloaders tied up in college classrooms forever, along with their unqualified freeloading professors who’ve agreed to go along with such a program. Then the qualified, intelligent, and serious people would be in the workplace, and … oh, but I forgot: they’d all be taxed to death to keep those classrooms filled “for free.” Gee, I dunno … it might be a good tradeoff. Better than welfare, anyway, since it would keep the freeloaders off the streets.

    More cynicism from an old fogey, right? 🙂

    Like

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