Book Review: ‘Why Socialism Works Good’

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I have accepted an assignment from Chalcedon to review Bernie Sanders’ Guide to Political Revolution. The sacrifices I make for this ministry!

I am sure Bernie will only be following in the footsteps of a book I read many years ago: Why Socialism Works Good, by Dr. Helza Poppin, an associate professor of Nothing Studies at Pimento University (“P.U., P.U., we’re all for you!”).

“Once you makes it against the law to make a profit,” Poppin wrote, “socialism just naturally happens. Them profits they drives up prices and also they encourages people to be greedy. People they should only work for altruistic reasons like I do, for the pure growth of knowledge and also knowing things. So you see if everybody they work for free then they can all get everything they need from the government for free, and you do away with money like totally. This is very awesome.”

The book dropped out of the market when it was revealed that Dr. Poppin actually was being paid what a dean at P.U. called “an exorbitant salary, and not worth a penny of it” and that she did not, in fact, work for pure love of increasing the fund of human knowledge. Published by Pablum Books, now out of business, a new copy of Why Socialism Works Good sold for $75.99 and a used one is virtually unobtainable.

But I’ll betcha Bernie Sanders read it.

7 comments on “Book Review: ‘Why Socialism Works Good’

    1. You just say that because you’d kind of like to have toilet paper and air conditioning. Actually, the common people don’t mind doing without those amenities, as long as their beloved rulers have them.

    2. I’ve always said that the two best things about civilization are indoor plumbing and refrigerators. I sometimes specify self-defrosting refrigerators, but that’s being too picky. The refrigeration is the important thing.

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