Hmm, let’s see… How far would I have to push this story, to turn it into satire? What? You say it’s there already? And it’s not satire? Holy moly.
Elmhurst College in Illinois is offering emotionally shattered idiots–er, students–“space” in which to “process” the traumatic results of this year’s midterm elections (https://www.campusreform.org/?ID=11504). Here students can crumple into fetal position and be sustained with cider, coffee, hot chocolate, and treats.
Can you say “infantile”? And you’re paying how much to send your kids to be “educated” there? Please explain how that does not qualify you as crazy.
In 2016 the college provided its students with a “group cry” over Donald Trump’s election as president. There was wailing and gnashing of teeth.
Crikey, I thought they were all happy over Democrats creeping back into a small majority in the House of Representatives. Hey, move over, I want some space, too! ‘Cause I get depressed whenever any Democrat is elected to anything, anywhere.
Maybe the college has simply taught these overgrown babies to be unhappy all the time.
Somehow it reminds me of an exchange in I, Claudius. The old, clapped-out pervert of an emperor, Tiberius, to the young, even worse, even crazier pervert, Caligula: “I shall make you my successor! Rome deserves you!”
Caligula: “Is this a joke, uncle?”
Tiberius: “Not yet–but it will be.”