College Offers ‘Space’ for Freaked-out Students to ‘Process’ Election Results

Image result for images of student tantrum

Hmm, let’s see… How far would I have to push this story, to turn it into satire? What? You say it’s there already? And it’s not satire? Holy moly.

Elmhurst College in Illinois is offering emotionally shattered idiots–er, students–“space” in which to “process” the traumatic results of this year’s midterm elections ( Here students can crumple into fetal position and be sustained with cider, coffee, hot chocolate, and treats.

Can you say “infantile”? And you’re paying how much to send your kids to be “educated” there? Please explain how that does not qualify you as crazy.

In 2016 the college provided its students with a “group cry” over Donald Trump’s election as president. There was wailing and gnashing of teeth.

Crikey, I thought they were all happy over Democrats creeping back into a small majority in the House of Representatives. Hey, move over, I want some space, too! ‘Cause I get depressed whenever any Democrat is elected to anything, anywhere.

Maybe the college has simply taught these overgrown babies to be unhappy all the time.

Somehow it reminds me of an exchange in I, Claudius. The old, clapped-out pervert of an emperor, Tiberius, to the young, even worse, even crazier pervert, Caligula: “I shall make you my successor! Rome deserves you!”

Caligula: “Is this a joke, uncle?”

Tiberius: “Not yet–but it will be.”

10 comments on “College Offers ‘Space’ for Freaked-out Students to ‘Process’ Election Results

  1. The joke is on the Founding Fathers who saw education as the primary concern of the parents and the local community. Many of them were home-schooled. They set up a Constitution that would secure liberty to its citizens, and the citizens since FDR have morphed it into an unrecognizable document that is now interpreted to say the central government is to educate the children until they are in their late 20’s. And this joke is not funny in the least, like the jokes that get told on late-night television and on “Saturday Night Live”.

    1. And the joke’s on us, who refused to see this coming against our children, or refused to do stop it when it did.

  2. “Maybe the college has simply taught these overgrown babies to be unhappy all the time.” And they “freak out” because they are being sacrificed at the altar of selfish, annihilating global leftist marxist idiotology and it hurts. Worse, they know they are alone in these institutions and they don’t have the maturity, or the intelligence that has been burned out of them, to deal with daunting attacks of their victimhood. And yes, they are victims.

    1. Me neither. Especially since college cements their 12 years of preparation for this travesty.

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