‘Pooperintendent of Schools’ Seeks Revenge on Cops Who Busted Him

For dogs… and the odd superintendent of schools

I suppose in an age when prostitutes are “sex workers” and vandals are “street artists,” and you can be fined or imprisoned for using the wrong pronoun, nothing should surprise us. But once again the nooze has come up with something.

The since-resigned Kenilworth Superintendent of Schools, the $147,504-a-year administrator who was busted last May for defecating on the Holmdel High School athletic field–hot dog, it wasn’t even his school district–is threatening to sue the Holmdel Police Dept. for ruining his life (https://www.wnd.com/2019/02/school-pooperintendents-life-has-been-ruined-attorney-says/).

Gee, I could’ve sworn he ruined his own life. I mean, taking a daily dump on public property–the public shouldn’t know what their lavishly-compensated “educator” gets up to?

It evokes a strange picture in the mind: this clown pooping on the 50-yard-line by the dawn’s early light. Maybe they could make a movie of it.

Anyhow, he’s seeking up to $1 million in damages for “what the Holmdel Police Dept. has so maliciously done to harm him,” said his lawyer, in a 10-page letter to the New Jersey Attorney General.

What they did was release the guy’s booking photo to the public. I dunno anymore–aren’t you supposed to be shamed and held up as a laughing-stock, when you do what this guy did? Or is it that there’s no such thing as shameful anymore? No more prostitutes, just sex workers. Didn’t he ruin  his own life? Didn’t he put himself in a position to be the butt of jokes by late-night comics on TV? Has he not got no one but himself to blame?

“I had a bathroom emergency,” he said. What–every day? He says he’s been diagnosed with “runner’s diarrhea” (he’s a jogger, don’t you know)–so don’t you do something about that, instead of just letting the chips fall where they may? I mean, couldn’t he at least have carried a couple of plastic grocery bags with him, to pick up his poop? People snicker at his kids–well, whose fault is that?

One thing’s certain: if he really does go to court over this, it’ll bring a whole new wave of “pooperintendent” jokes at his expense and make it just that much harder for Father Time to wipe away the public’s memory. But then a million bucks is a million bucks.

Maybe he could get a job in San Francisco. No one would notice there.