The new you!
Beware false prophets, con men, and deals that are too good to be true.
Satan has been promising bogus immortality since he conned Eve in the Garden. Now it’s gonna be hi-tech immortality… because computers always work perfectly and there’s, like, no way the disc with “you” on it is gonna get garbled or mis-edited…
Think of it: 1,700 more years of Hillary Clinton trying to capture the White House. Wow! Where do we go to sign up for that?