I Confest to Plants!!!!

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Yeasterday hear At Collidge we herd abuot this hear Grate Ideer fromb Union Thealoggicable Semetary wood yiu Beleave “it” thay “are” confesting thare Sins “To” plants!!! Us in the Stodent Soviet we voated “rite” aweiagh to “maik it” Mandertorry for evry Boddy “here”!!!

Al of Us we “are” Interllecturals soe we “know” “thare” “is” no God but thare “are” Plants! and Plants thay are Reel!! Yiu “can” “sea” themb rihght hear!!!

But then some Biggit Racist Hater he sayed “iff Its A sin to eeat meeat then isnt It a Sin “to” eeat Plants tooo and then wat “are” yiu aloud To eeat??”” , wel we wernt goingto lissen to That!!! And annyhow sints i bin taking Moth Hoarmoans i can eeat hankerchiffts and jim sox and iff evry Boddy thay dose it then thay “can” eeat hankerchiffts and jim sox tooo!!!!! So ate ((*8!)) of Us we beet himb up!!!

The ownly thing “it” was Confuzing abuot this,, i alreddy lernt thare is no sutch thing “as” a Sin  but this chick whith tatwos she stratened me Out quick!! Wyte Privvalidge it is a Sin! Just being Wyte it is a Sin!! If yiu has Moar Munny then some Boddy elsse thats A Sin tooo!! (Wel i dont has to whorry abote that i hasnt got no Munny at alll!!!!) Inter-Sexianalitty that is aslo a Sin!! So natcherly we can Confest all Theeze hear Sins “to” Plants–,,–and the Plants thay “will” heer our Confestions and Then Thay will do Nothing!!!!!! Like how Grate is that???

5 comments on “I Confest to Plants!!!!

  1. Watch out if the plant you confess to is a Venus Flytrap or some other carnivorous plant. (Okay, so I stole the idea from Babylon Bee. So sue me. Or feed me to a carnivorous plant.) 🙂

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