All A’s Foar All Stoodints!!!

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Sumbboddy thay toled me I “was” Speling “Stodent” wrong and “It” was maiking me Look stopid so i has chainged “it!

Butt “the” Big News Tooday “is” frumb nhow On al of us Hear At Collidge we “are” al goingto get Strait As!!!!!!! Ouur Stoodint Soviet de-manndid It!! And the Amministriation thay emeeditly sayed Yes!!! How grate “is” That???

Buy giving evry boddy All As we acromplitsh twoo impotent Things! 1)One) we toatully Get Rid “of” Discrimbinnasion, we maik All Stoodints Equill!!! 2)Towo) This it maiks it “so” Anny Boddy thay canbe A Prefesser,, all thay got to Doo is rite a A on evry Thing!! That is moar Equill!! 3)Thryeee) This meens Evry boddy thay can Gradurate Whith Onners!!!! waht cood be Moar Equill Than That???

Sumb Biggit he sayed “this hear it “whill” Maik a deegree “frumb” this hear Collidge wirth Assolutlee nothing” so we al Jumpt on himb and Beet himb Up!!! We dont Tollereight no In-Tollerinse at our Collidge!!!

The “ownly” not so Good Thing abuot it is,, the Amministriation thay went and dubbled the Tution!!! It doughnt effect Me becose i let themb Shoot Me Up whith Moth Hoarmoans and so thay let me stay Heer for Freee butt i dunt Know “how” sumb “otther” Stoodints thay “are” goingto Pay al That Munny butt the Amministriation thay sayed “thay” aslo has a Plan “to” Cut Cawsts!!

Abandoned Barn Photograph by Gej Jones

Yes!! Thay has bawt this Grate billding,, thats It “up thare” in the pitcure,, and It willbe The New Nantsy Pallosy Memborial Dorm and Stoodints thay can Live “thare” at a redeuced Price!!! It will Saive them Lots “of” Dollerds!!!!

Otther Equilly “wunderfull Improovemints thay “Are” “on” The Way”” sayed our Collidge Pressadint i foreget his Naimb but it has vouls in it!!!

9 comments on “All A’s Foar All Stoodints!!!

  1. Hey, they give everyone trophies who compete in sports, etc. why not give everyone A’s? Curious how when more kids began going to college the lower the nation’s IQ became.

  2. “Twoo impotent Things,” indeed, forsooth! Love it.

    But, but…. I thought insisting on “correct” spelling was elitist, patriarchal, and imperialistic! Joe needs to insist on his right to choose his own spelling. 🙂

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